Now, I am sure that most of us would agree that being single definately makes things easier. You have no one to answer to when you don't show up cuz you're on a call, no one to check in with when you are at a fire scene for 6 hrs, etc. But my question is, does this ever work even if you find someone in the same field? I dated someone who was in EMS and he should have understood, but he got jealous if I got up to go to a call when we were hanging out, and got jealous of the time and dedication I was giving to the dept. Needless to say, he is no longer around, but I wonder does anyone have a really good thing going on where their S.O. isn't threatened by this? I get sooo tired of the drama that I see other FFs have to put up with with their GF's not understanding and constantly butting up against their dedication to the service. If it were me, I would cut them lose...but I have never had trouble breaking up with someone when it has gone south.
Ive dated a firie before and we use to go to the same job at times (different stations). We gave each other respect for what we did thou.. Ive also dated men that are not part of the fire service- one guy didnt like it, as he thought one day I may never come home and he tried to tell me that fire was dangerous... really ..being a firefighter I wouldnt know that...lol!!! We just had differences, so that is why it never worked out in the end.
But when you break it down.. I think if you have to have a good work - life balance (regarless if its volnuteer or paid work in the fire service). As long as you make time to spend together as a couple, then that is always what matters!
It is just a little bit easier being single. Me and my ex-husband were on the same fire department and it wasn't him that was getting upset it was me because him and the other firefighters would sit and talk about other females that would go by when we were done at any scenes. They would do this rite in front of me. So I would get upset but I wouldn't let them see it I would just walk away and keep the anger inside of me. So that would be hard if you are a couple and on the same department.
It is nice to be single, but its also nice to know that you have someone who cares and worries about you while your on a call or on duty. I would love to fine someone in the fire service sometimes cause they know what your going through and understand when you say hey I need to be left alone, or know when you just need a hug. I know when I had my last gf and it was nice to know that when I was on duty that I had someone who cared and worried if I didn't come home. So I would say if your bf or gf can't respect that your on a fire or ems department than they don't deserve you.
i haven't dated someone in the same field but did have some problems with my fiancee at the time where he was so afraid i wouldn't come home safely after a shift. i tried to explain to him that i wouldn't be doing this work if i didn't trust my crew to get me if something happened but he still was overly worried. needless to say we didn't stay together much longer after that. sometimes it's good to be single in the field but then again if your family like parents aren't sround, who's gonna be there to help you balance out your professional and personal lives?
me being single at the moment helps with calls my ex gf was always jelous of me goign to calls and spending alot of time with all the firefighters and at the fire dept when i was on a fire scene she'd call repeatedly and one time she ev en got in my truck and used my truck radio to call me on my handheld and i think that was the last thing that she did before i ended it.
I think being single is easier with the fd but i think more than anything maybe we just need to find that certain kind of person who can deal with the life of a fire fighter! I know as a female a lot of men think its hot but it definitely takes a certain type of man not to get intimidated by a female fire fighter that even goes for other fire fighters. Ive dated other fire fighters and I never got jealous over it but they did...i think also its different cuz a lot of guys get all nervous cuz as a female fire fighter we are generally the only girl in a sea of men!
I do think having a partner is good - we need more than just the FD in our lives... however, it can be a challenge to find a good supportive partner that does not see the FD as the mistress who invades the relationship.