Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by William White on August 12, 2008 at 2:14am

Thanks for input

Permalink Reply by Tom Eades on August 13, 2008 at 10:42am

All that I can offer is that we all do the best we can, but there are some things beyond our control. Nobody likes dealing with death, but we all have to at some point. In your case, you chose the profession, knowing you would have to deal with unpleasant things, but wanting to help. You engaged in training to be able to do the job, and you answered the call. You processed the information, and had help on the way. It's totally appropriate that the outcome bothers you--you wanted to help the gentleman, but he died anyway. Allow yourself the time to grieve, then move on. For every person who dies on your watch, there are an untold number that will benefit from you being there. It may not always seem like it, but you are making a positive impact on your community.

Permalink Reply by SMOKEnPipesJim on August 14, 2008 at 1:35am

Well, Bill, To be honest , In My time as a dispatcher , I had a lot of goofy stuff happen, and oneof the "good aspects of my location was we were pretty much within 4 minutes of the ER...being a full service dispatch, Municiple Police and FIre/ambulance was pretty simple affair ... and I honestly cant say I ever experianced a case like yours.. I know of two occasions that "reading the cards" to bi=standers of chokings we were able to clear airways and turn around bad situationsas well as having other life saving techniques offered and play some small part in a positive return.. as a Career Firefighter of going on 20 years almost 4 dispatching prior to that and even the 15 years as a volly before that I can tell you certain situations happen and we are often left holding some kind of baggage over it.. The closest situation I have to yours is On the Interstate I am on my way in to dispatch friday night which was an 8 pm to 8 am shift, I am in the right lane approaching a six lane bridge southbound and I see a disabled vehicle over in the right lane as two On ramp lanes merge... this woman is standing behind her vehicle and waving cars offm with my POV I put on my 4 way flashers and pulled up behind her, explained who I was and that I would get a call in in less then 2 minutes , that she should cautiously make her way to the protected sidewalk area before she gets struck, she said OK but My car .. I said forget your car can be replaced you cannot... and I took off , Traffic was light and I made the mile to the station in quick time , Ran in the building without actually parking and told the duty dispatcher To get SP to the scene for a disabled asap... returned and parked and brought my stuff in ..( obviously before cell phone days) .... well, It happened, before I got back the Pl line from our 911 psap rang and both sides were recieving a call for a multiple car MVA ... It turned out , someone rearended her and crushed her between her car , and his , like 2 or 3 other cars were also involved as well by flying parts and pieces etc.. and For the longest time, I though what IF I had stayed, on scene .(I might not be here) what if , she listened to me, she might be here.. then it set in, the last person she spoke to on this earth was me, was I rude? hey lady yuo trying to get your self killed? IF someone hits the car, so be it , but if they hit you and the car add one more stupid death to the books.. while its not quite the same, its very similar in that it bothered me for a while ....

But No matter what, we are all put here on this earth , live what ever time we have and we all die.. somewhere somehow I obviously dont know if your spiritual or not, It might do you some good to talk face to face with a preist or rabbi or insert title , or Your department SHOULD have some form of counseling set up, (EAP) If the officers and firefighters have access you should as well, since they often have others to bounce things off, No matter, Though Take what comfort you can in knowing that at least thisperson didn't totally die alone and thatr as unnerving as its been for you, perhaps you were of some comfort in his last moments and perhaps allowed him some dignity... I can tell you, as a Firefighter I've often been faced with dealing with the afternmath of incidents, I say this because while I've ridden quite a few codes into the ER in my day as an extra hand for the Bus crew, Only once was the trip two way, In the case of a 4 yo girl, victim of smoke inhalation, along with her sister who was 2 and grandmother, It happened I was on the 4th due engine and stoodby if the myhydrant line needed to be charged , It happened that it did not, and I was relieved at the hydrant, so I was walking down to let my officer know when the two kids were brought out both limp..being both FF's were in full gear and SCBA, the 4 yo was passed off to me, and I started CPR and all the way to the hospital we worked , turning into the ER we got her back , 5 1/2 minutes of compressions while the emt bagged her ... I've also lost quite a few, as company officer pull up to a wood frame a couple years back (2005) 1st due with heavy fire auto extending frm, the first to the second and third, we dropped a line and thankfully the other company in my house that wasnt assigned initially jumped on behind us and pumped that line we advanced a line to the rear in ice and snow conditions and went in found mother and two tottlers In the first room on the left, all three died of smoke inhalation despite efforts to bring them back and AED , The strange thing was here they were Just inside the rear doorway in a bedroom, dead , while an uncle who was in the 3rd floor apartment was able to escape down interior stairs to the vacant second floor out to the rear stairs, and passed by they're door without even trying , her husband had Gone Grocery shopping at the fire occurred at about ten afternine at night.... The woman survived a similar fire situation by jumping out a second floor window about twenty addresses down on the same street ten years prior to this incident (1995) to the actual day.. Naturally , in retrospect, I began to tear apart how I related as Combat Command, how we were able to specificly leave the front open for incoming truck how we stretched lines To the rear 1st with protecting egress and stairwells in mind , and how the secondary lines were used only with all occupants accounted for and in a manner that would not push the exterior fire back into the interior *even that sounds bad , But the primary attack lines went to the rear 1st, and 2nd floors and also the 3rd floor.. Knock down was hampered a little with CPR being performed on the woman in the back yard and with the Children being taken straight out to the buses but all in all things went well.. considering ... The big picture is to realize your human and can only do so much in any situation, the rest is in the hands of fate or God... in the dispatch room, you are even more limited, the what ifs arise, and thats natural.... but what if the person had called two days earlier or had exercised and taken proper care of themselves , not taken drugs for X number of years or whatever... and when you run out of those what ifs , then all you have left is the faith or fate issue to look at..


I hope this helps at least a little bit,... Jim

Permalink Reply by Justin on August 16, 2008 at 9:06pm

I hate to hear this. I know words can only go so far, but you can always turn to a minister. I am the son of a preacher. Several years ago, I dealt with my first fatality that involved children. It was very hard for me. I turned to my dad as both my father and a minister. He was able to help me cope with it.

I hope by now that you have begun the healing process. Please do not let it discourage you from your job.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.