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i need someone to talk to.......i kindaa takin it hard over a death in a wreck....
Can anyone help me....? i mean it didnt bother me when i was on scene...butt now since im homee its botherin mee ...i cant seem to sleep...can anyone give m advicee
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Melissa on
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well i have a problem like that mine is from being in the navy i have PTSD from it. The best way is to talk about it but it will be hard i know it is hard. Talk to ppl about it.
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Permalink Reply by Eric on
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Speaking from more military experience than emergency response, I understand what you're going through. As you've seen many times on here, it is part of the job and God does have plans for everyone and we know that you understand that. The tough part is being able to accept those things, no mater how much you want to, it's tough to accept. I think the toughest part is with that being your first experience with it. As others have posted, talk to your father, CISM members and others and they will help you get through that. There is a numbing effect over the course of time that comes with it and that numbing increases with the number of times that you do have to deal with it. It doesn't mean that you're cruel or don't care, it is the brains way of dealing with traumatic incidents. Don't try to force it to go away though, from my understanding that leads to worse things mentally later on. I hate to word it this way and it's the only way that I can think to describe it, but it's almost like you're brain having a cold. You have to kinda let it run it's course and talking to people about it will help that. Over the course of time the incident's effects will fade, though this being the first it will probably always stay there to some degree. As more unfortunate incidents occur, certain aspects will stay as opposed to the entire scene itself. I don't know if I can call any of this advice as opposed to insight, but I truly hope that it helps. I am on here relatively frequently and if you want, send me a message and I'd be more than happy to help in any way that I can. I just want to add that I am not in any way telling you to suck it up and keep going, or simply let it go. I'm a strong advocate of talking about it with those who can help you through it because that is the best way to help yourself through this in my opinion.
-Eric
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Permalink Reply by Smoke Eater on
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Hey Cody, I had pretty much the same experience. My very first call was 2 guys hot patching a roof had gotten thier ladder too close to a 7200 volt power line and fried. I wasn't allowed to even get out of the truck but you know how juniors can be. I didn't get out but I could see everything. They had to shock one guy back and the other never made it. Then later that same day we got called out to an unresponsive female. Upon arrival I found that it was one of my best friends' house. He had been out that day and when he got home could not wake his mom up. She had been dead for at least 4 hrs. That one bothered me the most. But as time goes by, it will be just a memory. You will see many many more and pretty much forget about it. But untill then I wish you the best. Definately talk about it with your dad. I did that and it helped. He also had 20 sum yrs. in the fire service. He helped me through alot that I didn't understand how to handle.
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Permalink Reply by rescuerambo on
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i have to agree with everyone that says we all go through it. my first fatal wreck was a group of three my friends. that was very rough. but after going through a debriefing and talking to my father that has been in the fire service for so many years i got through it. I have been in this for six years now and i can still picture every fatal ive had. I was told this by my former chief " If it wasnt for us who would come and get the deceased out so their family dont have to" I dont know why that helped me but it has. so you can take that for what its worth. hope that you can overcome this.
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Permalink Reply by Pat Fagan on
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Hey Cody, this is a tougher month than most for this sort of thing. Sometimes I dread December for that reason.
If nothing else, the number of responses in this forum will tell you that you are not alone in experiencing this. That is not to make it any easier, but it is what they call a normal response to an abnormal event. I can't add any more advice than what was given by folks much more experienced than I, other than to seek out whatever assistance you need, depending on what is available. With more time on the job, you will soon find that certain events won't faze you, but others will be devastating, depending on your background and your connection to what has taken place. I belong to a dept. in a community in which I didn't grow up, so I kept pretty detached from some of the tragedies I witnessed, UNTIL the one day the call came where I knew the deceased patients quite well from the nearby town where I grew up. Reacting this way reminds you that you are a human being with emotions and that compassion you feel will help you do your job better as you meet people sometimes having the worst day of their lives.
All the best to you and yours for the holidays!
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Permalink Reply by Mike Schlags (Captain Busy) Retd on
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Captain Mike's Rules for Surviving Post Incident Stress:
1. Remember, You did not cause the event / accident.
2. Your job is to not get emotionally involved in the call. To do so takes away from your ability to be totally non-subjective about the call, or simply put, getting er' done but not being influenced by your personal feelings...
3. Whether volunteer or paid, the word professional denotes both mental and physical hands on control by the rescuer to do their job, and to do it well. Always be professional.
4. Create more than one interest. You cannot only do firefighting or EMS gigs, 24/7/365 without giving you head the chance to do a control alternate delete, and re-boot things. This can only be done by getting totally away from the work environment and into something different. This is why it is healthy to try to separate work from home. Sports, working out, working on cars, doing something that you find relaxing and enjoyable is what you need to pursue for your mental health.
5. Develop a sense of humor. This is one of the shields that you develop over time with your peers to get through the nasty things that you have to experience and deal with.
Merry Christmas Cody and Keep On Keeping On...
Mike from Santa Barbara
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Permalink Reply by Glenn Young on
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After being in the field for 25 years there are still some situations that bother me at times it all depends on the situation. The best thing to do is talk with your partner on someone in the field that will understand your situation or speak with someone on a CISD team.
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Permalink Reply by Brian Dumser on
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Try talking to some of the firefighters who were on the call with you, especially some of the veteran FF's. Then I strongly suggest you go through CISD. I've never had to go through it, but I know some guys who did and they say it helps.
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Permalink Reply by Shareef Abdu Nur on
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If I was in any position to give advise, and I am not, I would humbly say that I know how you feel and this feeling is perfectly normal. sometimes we make ourselves out to be super human and above having feelings, but we are neither. I do not know how religious you are, but religion teaches us how to deal with life as well as death. I would also advise finding a FF you respect and can confide in to talk to. You don't need answers brother, you just need someone to listen to you. This is what makes or breaks us as FF's and especially as human beings. Stay strong..stay focused..and realize that you have a countless number of fellow FF's to help you. Stay in touch, OK?
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Permalink Reply by Fabulous Heather Days of Summer on
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good to be talking about this
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Permalink Reply by Fred Cummings, Jr. on
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This response is obviously several years late however I hope Cody took Brian's advice. I attended an in house CISD with the EMS crew including the Dispatcher that took the call. The call was for a 14 y/o male Q5 with a shotgun to the head. It wasn't so much the sight on scene as it was the smell. Talking it over with those effected REALLY does help. This happened over 14 years ago and yet I could tell you in detail what happened that night. Some things you'll never forget.
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