Gay in the Firehouse? (I'd love some female responses..I'm a woman by the way)

thank you everyone for your insightful responses as to how to deal with being outted at my fire house.
i appreciate the time you all took.
i've decided to let things slide in fact, and as events occurr (if they continue to) i'll be talking to the cheif about it.
im not terribly concerned as i'm not trying to change the personal opinions of my firehouse, just get them to stop making vulgar jokes and whatnot.
activism isn't my job in the firehouse, and im in no way trying to incorperate it. the only place where both firefighting and activism are in my life, is on this site, where i felt comfortable enough to do so.
clearly, many are still uncomfortable with freedom of expression, through my ffn profile.

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Permalink Reply by Caroline on October 26, 2009 at 9:10pm

you and kali are right, and i apologize for overreacting and not coming to this discussion with an open mind.
thanks for your insight, and as angry as i am at my whole situation i do respect what you had to say and i didn't mean to shut out an answer i didnt want to hear.
sincere apologies to kali and others.

Permalink Reply by Spanner 122 on October 27, 2009 at 9:17am

Hi Caroline.
I haven't read all of the responses, as it seems from reading a couple per page that this topic has come and gone into some interesting areas.
What I would like to say is, dealing with vulgar comments and feeling degraded in any way is not cool. Jokes are one thing. I find many people do not always know where the line is and perhaps because it is different for everyone, some do not care. I have been through some interesting times with my department. I got to the point where I thought they may be right, that they were only doing it to push me out. Perhaps I didn't belong there. If I couldn't handle it, I should go home. NO! I am good at my job and getting better as I learn, that experience has also made me better and made me better to handle most other things as well. I have yet to come across another firefighter who behaves the way they did. Some still ignore me because I am female. Oh well. Some believe I can't possibly be strong enough or smart enough to do the job. Oh well. I actually thought that perhaps if they thought I was gay, the sexual comments and the rumours about me and other firefighters would stop. But, I suppose then it would be different comments and stories. But, I also ALWAYS, consider the source. Those who have things to say and decide not to like me personally simply for my gender, are usually people I'm not too fond of either. lol

You do need to speak up when you feel the jokes have gone too far, TO THE PEOPLE MAKING THE JOKES. If that does not work, you go to your Capt, allow him to speak with the Chief. Remember your chain of command.

Small steps, quiet change, keep your head down, but your chin up and retain your self respect.

Permalink Reply by Jessika on October 27, 2009 at 9:18am

I understand how you feel!

Permalink Reply by Art "ChiefReason" Goodrich on October 27, 2009 at 11:41am

Ms. Caroline:
Why was my reply to your thread deleted?
If you look around here, you might see my name alot.
I don't like to be deleted.
Please don't.
TCSS.
Art

Permalink Reply by WestPhilly on October 27, 2009 at 12:41pm

Maybe ( )ave did it.

Permalink Reply by Art "ChiefReason" Goodrich on October 27, 2009 at 1:32pm

He might have, but usually he will tell me.
I quoted her foul language in my reply. Perhaps that did it.
Regardless, I don't like it.
And I will have that discussion with whomever is responsible.
I know I can delete my replies in discussions.
I don't know who else can.
I get incensed when I am painted into a corner with a broad brush.

Permalink Reply by WestPhilly on October 27, 2009 at 1:41pm

Yep. Sure does suck when someone - ANYONE - deletes your comment. I think I might even know of at least one other who would share that view.

Permalink Reply by Firefighter Nation WebChief on October 27, 2009 at 2:07pm