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Dating on the job
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by WestPhilly on
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Oldman,
I have many close male friends on the job, which is perfectly natural. It's also perfectly natural that men and women on the job will sometimes have romantic relationships. There's nothing even remotely incestuous about that.
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Permalink Reply by Jack/dt on
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WP,
It's also perfectly natural for men and women to be close friends, without any romantic relationship, and sometimes a man and a man/woman and woman will have romantic relationships. Hells bells, it IS 2012.
As far as incest/incestuous relationships, could be there are male and female family members in the same department. Me thinks that maybe it was to that which Oldman was alluding.
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Permalink Reply by Fireyladd - Retired Chief Sharp on
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Your profile indicates your married????????????????????
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Jack,
I thought the point Oldman was making was that it's wrong - certainly inappropriate - for men and women on the job together to have romantic relationships (something about "fraternization"). My point was that romantic relationships are just as likely, and legitimate, between men and women on the job as close friendships are among men on the job. (The incest comment was a reference to his line about brother and sister firefighters).
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Fireyladd,
Assuming your post is intended for me, that's correct. What's your point???????????
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Permalink Reply by Kristle McLeod on
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My advice, stick to your job. You need to stay focused. Relationships at a fire department can be dangerous...especially in the line of duty. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Suck it up & do your job!
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WP,
I got ya, I misinterpreted what you were saying and I agree with your comments.
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Westy, my comment was directed at the "Lark Kent".
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Fireyladd: Got ya. (But Lark might ask the same question I did.)
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Jack,
Okie Dokie.
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Permalink Reply by Ken Thorpe on
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I may be a tad late chiming in on this topic but, it all depends on how hot she is!
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Permalink Reply by Eric Yunginger on
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First thing to consider, is it a paid department or volunteer? If paid, what does the employment manual state? In my "regular" job, it is specifically spelled out in the manual that employees are not to engage in relationships with other employees. It's bad enough in an office setting, but in a line of work where you literally are putting your lives in the hands of your coworkers, any bad blood that might come from a spat in the relationship (or worse, when the relationship hits the rocks) is a very bad thing. (If volunteer, do the bylaws have anything to say about it?)
Plus there is the whole can of worms that gets opened up with one being in a supervisory role to the other. All kinds of sexual harassment issues crop up then, and could cost both of them their office and/or job.So my take is, it's a bad idea. That being said, if your buddy is absolutely certain he wants to pursue his captain, he needs to first check if there's anything in the department against it, then needs to decide if he's ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, 100% WITHOUT A DOUBT SURE she has the same feelings. It's far, far, far too easy to mistake the natural body language of a woman in a male-dominated environment as flirting*. Asking her out to then find out she's not interested at all would be incredibly awkward. Make sure she's interested too. Then talk to her about it. And tread very, very lightly. NO displays of affection in the firehouse. The relationship must NEVER cross the threshold of the station - inside the station and out on a scene, he is a firefighter, she is a captain, and that's all. And lastly, if he's sure he wants to do this, he must also be ready to leave the department if things go south, regardless of who might be to blame.
Did I mention it's a bad idea? (Like someone else said... don't crap where you eat.)
*My apologies to the women on this site. I know what I'm trying to say, but finding the right words to do it isn't working out. I am in no way, shape, or form calling women firefighters teases, flirts, or any other suggestion. My comment is related to the way men, in a male-dominated environment with a few women - especially women that fit in well with and are comfortable around the guys, will mistake her actions as flirtatious. (Not sure if I just made it better or worse)
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