So what is the funniest thing you have ever said to dispatch or heard over the radio? 


"The roads are slicker than goose snot" (neighboring station, this still has a rolling)


"Standy by for clear code or you can pick one" (my station, I could not find our code book)


So what have you done to make dispatch laugh, shake their heads, and go "Really?"

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One of the funniest things I have heard said to dispatch was by a rookie on our station a number of years ago we were called to a structure fire this guy was the passenger in our tanker and he radios to dispatch , unit 18-12 is in pursuit, I guess he must have thought the fire was on the run ??? or maybe he watched too many episodes of cops ?? not sure witch but it was pretty funny!!!
I am going to have to remember that one.... hehehe
Years ago, we had a member accidently and unknown to him key up the mike to the base radio and the words "how the hell do you spell dumpster" was transmitted. He was in the process of writing down the run that we had just been dispatched to.
Let me guess... He was reminded of this regularly... lol
Some odd years ago, we had a Dispatcher, that had a deep Southern accent. She toned us out for a "Portable Weed Fire".. As we coded En-route, my Lt. confirmed the nature of the call. She replied again with, "A Portable Weed Fire"... So we started in, had no idea what we were responding on. The Lt. called in again, to repeat the nature of the call, she was getting aggravated, stated it again, loudly this time. So he asked her, what exactly a "Portable Weed Fire Was"... She responded with... anger and disgust, by now. we were arriving... on the scene, of a "Report of a Weed Fire... lol
a neighbouring station, which had a long time without any alarm, was called on a car fire.

-"Officer vehicle out, 2 people"
-"Pumper out, 5 people"
-"personal transport vehicle out, 8 people"
- dispatch : "hey guys, it's only a car fire..."

Gotta love those accents.... hehehe
All i can say is wow...
One of our guys when he pulled up to give a size up on a structure fire all he said was " FIRE BIG FIRE " .He still gets kidded about that.
I am having Tarzan flashbacks.....
A few weeks ago my wife and I were sitting watching TV when a neighboring department was called out for a MVA. Dispatch was giving them directions and ending up saying "it is right after the big 'S' curve. My wife looked at me and asked "did they just say what I thought they said?".

Another time a neighboring department called us for mutual aid. I arrived at our station and radioed their chief asking him what he wanted and he responded "I don't know, send anything, send everything". Needless to say it was a fairly large structure fire and he was a bit overwhelmed at first.

Last fall dispatch paged out another department for a car accident but got a little tongue tied in the dispatch and said "Come 10-8 to a 10-50 tree into the woods". Had a good laugh over that one too.
Ok.... Now I am in tears and my sides are splitting!

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