So what is the funniest thing you have ever said to dispatch or heard over the radio? 


"The roads are slicker than goose snot" (neighboring station, this still has a rolling)


"Standy by for clear code or you can pick one" (my station, I could not find our code book)


So what have you done to make dispatch laugh, shake their heads, and go "Really?"

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This is what I get a kick out of.....

Get tapped out to a call.....

Patient is caller
Patient is conscious and breathing
Patinet laid down on the floor and can't get up.... (reminds me of that commercial.......)
Chris is right.....

So when the snow melts are you going to tell dispatch....

"I'm melting, I'm melting"
I was the duty officer dispatched to alarm call at a local church. Upon arrival I was informed by church staff that they were having a breakfast for the congregation. When they set up the toaster, it was right under a smoke detector. You guessed it - burnt the toast and set off the alarms.

As I was clearing I advised dispatch "I have confirmed it is a false alarm - it was burnt toast, and not the Holy Ghost that caused the alarm". I'm sure the dispatcher just about peed her pants - I could hear her over the open mic laughing her butt off !!

My brother years ago was fresh out of the academy. ( stat pd- md) when he started chasing someone he keyed his mike up to tell his dispatcher about chasing this guy..but he forgot to let go of the mike and transferred everything that he was saying in his car out over all of md police radio. He was really talking to himself..whoo really got me a chase now..he here we go !, pull over pull over all in Roscoe p coltrain voice from the org dukes of hazards..he was big time embarrassed when he realized what he did..we still don't let him live that down almost 20 hrs later...
My ems chief on. Xmas eve last year had a male in the middle of the street with so many things wrong and he was there by himself and we ask for an u
Date and chief stated he's ah ahhhhh bad..from everywhere. We just ok d and we laughed all the way to location till we saw the pt and we stopped laughing right in our tracked...yelp he was hurt everywhere!
Dispatch was in a hurry to do the radio and tone test one night. She ended her transmission with "911 dispatch queer." She was just a little tongue tied. She finally got it right after a couple of tries.
Listening to the radio one day, a call comes in for a neighboring station. Dispatch said the a mother has called saying that her 16 year old son came home drunk and was arguing with his father. A few minutes later dispatch says that the son was unconscious. Im sure you can guess what happens.
well out department has said several funny or what you could say unnecesary comments over the radio to dispatch and even us(Crew).We have an assistant chief who gets a little too excited.We got toned out for lifting assistance one morning and there was a snow on the road.The ambulance couldn't get up the woman's drive way she had came back from the hospital at like 4 in the morning and it was pouring the snow.He hollered at dispatch and said "Well the woman ought not be making them bring her home with road conditions like this."LOL" and he hollered on the radio at me cause I was taking our 4x4 jeep to meet the ambulance.He said "Now come over here and get me,I don't want that jeep tore up".lol I guess you could say he takes it a little too serious.
Then another time we got toned out on a car wreck and there was a snow on then too.Roads were covered.He hollers back at us on the radio to warn us that a certain place was slick.He says "I don't know I guess their must be ice froze under this snow or something".lol now I thought that one was pretty funny.What else happens when it snows?We got one guy who hollers at dispatch when we get toned out and he asks for directions to where the scene is.Funny thing is he'll holler and holler until they(Dispatch)answers him trying to get directions and then he don't even show up.He's been reprimanded for it too.He hasn't did it in a while though.
oh and we have a guy from one of our neighbor departments whose bad to stutter a little when he gets excited.Sometimes he gets on the radio hollering around and you can't understand a frickin word he says.When he's calm though you can understand him pretty good.He's a hell of a guy though and a good fire fighter just gets excited is
Our county is has centeral dispatch, and was sending a police squad to a med call for a woman feeling dizzy, the officers response was 10-4 on the dizzy woman.
Bout 4 yrs ago we were headed to a chiminey fire that had been paged out as a structure fire and we driving all over a subdivision the roads the back outside tires hung off both sides it was so narrow. Cant find house anywhere.... so I got on the radio and asked the dispatcher for a description of the residents... instead of sayin no description the dispatcher replied "A house... On Fire." This was my first call that i was running actually driving a fire truck... Got so pissed finally found the house turned out to be a chiminy fire.

During all the snow a couple weeks ago we had just issued a radio to a newer member and he got to the scene of a mva and dispatch asked for a size up... his reply "Dispatch we got a bottled up mess out here send anyone and everyone." Poor fella still catches grieve for it
A few days ago it was in the negatives here in Colorado. I was on my 24 hour tour we get toned out for a water flow alarm. My ass. chief holds all units but him in quarters due to the weather. He does his thing on scene. On his way back he asked dispatch for the current tempature, dispatch comes back with "3 degrees" my ass. chief says "I don't believe you," dispatch comes back with "with the wind chill -20 degrees" my ass. chief comes back with "that I believe!"

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