So what is the funniest thing you have ever said to dispatch or heard over the radio? 


"The roads are slicker than goose snot" (neighboring station, this still has a rolling)


"Standy by for clear code or you can pick one" (my station, I could not find our code book)


So what have you done to make dispatch laugh, shake their heads, and go "Really?"

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You know that happened recently with one of our guys..... we call it rurlie dementia
To funny.....
I can only imagine why.
Good one....
Brings new meaning to "Really???"
For the past 7 years my full time job has been a 911 dispatcher so I could go on all day with stories from here & there. We are a "do it all" center for a mostly rural county meaning that three dispatchers answer buisness & 911 lines, dispatch for all the volunteer fire/EMS & law enforcments agencies in the county at the same time. We tend to have our own language around here especially in the wee hours of the night when most of scanner land & the brass have gone to bed. Here are some of my most memorable...

**Late one night I dispatched out a medical for an elderly female with general illness. Had no response so I toned the station again, still no response. Was just about to tone the mutual aid station when the primary went enroute. I found out later that the delay was due to me unknowingly dispatching both times as an "ugly female with general illness" & no one could catch their breath long enough to acknowledge the call.

**We came up with the term "Window Licker" as a way to describe our less than educated citizens. Had a fairly new deputy out with one of our regular "Window Lickers" & he was inquiring the dispatcher for info on the person. The dispatcher playfully described the person as a "Whiskey Lima" & the deputy asked what that was. Not knowing the person was listening to the conversation over a speaker phone the dispatcher explained the meaning in detail. Well, lets just say the Sheriff wasn't happy the next morning & "Whiskey Lima / Window Licker" became a strictly in-house term.

**Had a 3rd shift officer who was well known for his practical jokes. Around midnight on Christmas Eve he called pursuit on a red vehicle with his siren blasting in background. Called the pursuit street by street for several minutes until be pulled into a residence & then called foot pursuit on a white male wearing a red sweater. Shortly after he called in & advised for all units to disregard, it was just Santa Claus & for everyone have a Merry Christmas. Very funny except when he called pursuit every officer & deputy in the county about blew up their engines to get to the area, including some of the top brass who had came out for extra holiday patrols. Not a happy holiday for the officer.
Have had that happen a time or two both in cars/apparatus, WT's & dispatch. Have overhead several interesting conversations. Really gets interesting when officers play Cops & Robbers with their significant other & doesn't realise their WT mic is keyed the entire time. ;}
That's right.
In our cities ambulance company, they have a private dispatch center. They got a call for a general illness. The dispatcher described the guy cause he was on the streets. The dispatcher goes "You're looking for a black male wearing a black shirt with black jeans" short pause "you're looking for a smile." Lets just say he wasn't dispatching anymore.
uh.... Yeah.....

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