The firefighter's wives thread was closed after the OP threw a shot at those who did agree with his sugary, saccharine sweet opinion. 

From the last post by the OP....
<b><i>I must say I am disappointed in the attitudes and methods some of our brother and sister firefighters have chosen to use in "participation" of our well-meaning post.

By utilizing acerbic verbiage and antagonistic tone, they show they care not about those who may hold opinions differing from their own. but rather focus on how best to demonstrate their combustible intolerance and inability to accept and move on.

There is a larger story here. These brothers and sisters have axes to grind from previous run-ins and are only too eager to use your discussion posts as their grinders. They thrive on spending an inordinate amount of time scouring your well-meaning posts for targets and pounce to fulfill their childish needs.

Pitiful, sad, and uncharacteristic of true brothers and sisters who share valuable insight in an effort to become better at what we do.  </b></i>

You gotta love the irony in the underlined section...

The fact is... firefighters tend to have a high divorce rate. There is no ifs, ands or buts about that... on my group alone, there are 6 who are divorced (one of them twice) and another that ended a long term relationship. I went though a period in the late 1980's where I was standing at the intersection of Separation Road and Divorce Drive. Luckily, my wife and I were able to work it out.

Some firefighters have to work 2 jobs or more if they want to put their kids through college or move to a nicer neighborhood. Working OT and a second job does take its toll on family life... especially when the spouse complains about the firefighter not being home often enough but can't wait until the checks are deposited in the accounts on payday.

That, brothers and sisters, is the stark reality of some of us face... if people  want to look at the world through the rose colored glasses.. they may find themselves blindsided by reality someday. By offering differing opinions... the "axe grinders" ARE sharing valuable insight to become better spouses and parents.

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I know someone that does this on here!!
Relationships are a hard thing to keep going in society today! Life in general has enough stress then you add a pager going of at supper when you just walked in the door or having to go work that second part time job,Kids, bills, and I could continue the list but not enough room on the server to do so.
I think if everyone would help your friends and family and get both sides and give your opinions to both sides because i've seen more times than not someone on the outside only gets half the story and it's usually inflated or misconstrued.We all need help so don't be afraid to ask for it just make sure that you don't only give half the story and don't make a person choose between two friends.Been here and it's not good to not have everyone turn on you when you haven't had a chance to plead you case.
Posted by Kali..
Posts like these which unwaveringly affirm the "specialness" of firefighters IMHO serve only to to boost fragile egos of those firefighters who need it. In the meantime, in the eyes of the public, the Fire Service will be seen by some (and with good reason) as self aggrandizing, insufferable and unbearably self-important.


Kali... i share your point of view...

I do defend our profession when those with no knowledge of our profession attack us... however, one must use fact and not emotion to get the point across.... one must also use tact.... and we know what tact is...

Tact is telling someone to go screw themselves, but in a way that makes them actually look forward to the experience!
Chief,

It's not just the saccharin topics, although the "wives are special" one was certainly archetypal for the kumbaya group. But there is a trend here at FFN that when people post DISCUSSION topics, what they are really looking for is affirmation from the group. Everyone pig piles on telling the poster how right, or great, or capable he or she is, they are special, a hero, all that crap. And if it isn't affirmational or sophomoric it's the public confessional. Talk about a cheesy, jerry springer generation.

And as soon as someone chimes in with an opposing view or comment they are labeled as pot stirrers and mal contents. Apparently they don't understand the meaning of the word DISCUSSION. You're either 'discussing' the topic via an exchange of differing ideas and opinions or it's all a bunch of bobble head dolls nodding in agreement.

Back to the "firefighter's wives are special" discussion, one poster commented "I'm sorry if you don't love your wife like we do..." When I replied back that I found that comment to be offensive, he had the audacity to write that "Also I said that you MAY not love your wife as I do my fiancee'. " Mind you, the boldface are direct quotes from that person in that discussion. Can either of you tell me if I somehow "misinterpreted" his statements? And wouldn't he feel a complete shit were he to say that to someone, only to find out that person's wife had died? Naw...the self righteousness alone would insulate him from feeling badly.

This is the kind of crap that ffn is turning into, feel good, jolly volly, 'we're all so very damn special' crap fest and if you aren't all golly-gee-shucks, rose-colored glasses and chromosomally damaged you're considered a pot stirrer. Wonder where their yellow brick road leads to.
Bah!
Well, obviously! :P
You mean "he who shall not be named?" And knock off that pot stirrer crap, you should talk MS. Trouble. ;=) More lobster this evening? Of did you get one to go?
The one thing you both had in common I bet.
As the OP, you have to understand that we only wanted to get some input from firefighters about what makes firefighters wives special. From the post, we were able to get some excellent input and promises to participate in the upcoming show. From that standpoint, the post was a huge success.

The post was NOT about firefighters wives being MORE special as some have spun it and led you to believe. I know many wives who are special in their own way sans a firefighter husband. No argument here.

I also understand the trials and tribulations that can make a firefighter's (or cop's, or paramedic's) marriage stand on the precipice and sometimes go tumbling down.

And I'm more than aware of the pablum and BS posts that we see on here all too often.

Again, all of this this was not our intent.

The sad fact is, the well-meaning post was torpedoed (like so many others in the past) and crafted into something it was not meant to be.

Disagree all you want. Don't like my opinion? I don't expect everyone to.

I've read through the previous writings by those who couldn't pass by our post without popping their head in the door, redefining it to justify their attitude, and proceeding to rip it apart.

(Gonz, I know you've seen this before and you know it's true. You didn't stand for it, and neither will I)


Despite what some mind reader will try to get you to believe the post was closed NOT because of a differing opinion. It was closed because no one would utilize it for its intended purpose following the bitter back and forth that ensued by sarcastic individuals who couldn't pass it by without riddling it full of holes..

THAT'S the larger story here.

It was going to continue to go at such a rate that no one else would come in and leave a useful comment. I take responsibility for engaging and allowing it to continue much longer than I should have. But as MY post, I had the responsibility to kill any further crap from being flung (by me or anyone else).

If you want to believe something else so you can further the barrage, so be it.

I must say that I have not utilized the forums here on FFNation to its fullest. However, I thought we had worked past what was the beginning of the end on Firehouse.com forums. Apparently not for all.

As I read through the other post I still don't see what was the big deal, mud slinging, and other stuff mentioned. What I saw was a post which was meant to speak highly of firefighter wives be torn apart by someone who doesn't think that any wife of a firefighter is any different than any other wife.

The post was supposed to bring out the best in us (our spouses and what we think of them).

Many heard this calling and offered their comments on their spouses. I appreciate all of the great comments. I am sure many firefighters could spare us the details of their bitter divorces and speak on the great times with someone who fit the bill as "special".

Look for that discussion in a future edition of Firefighter Netcast.
Wow what have I missed? Guess I have to get on more often.
Was it a fluff piece? Absolutely. (You know, the way Rocky says it). Is there room on FFN for fluff pieces? I don't see why not. Is there room on FFN for someone to call it a fluff piece and proceed accordingly? Uh, yeah.

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