Ok...so I go to court next week for a custody hearing. I have been divorced for 7 years but for the first time we are actually going to court and both want full custody. I am very concerned about what the judge will think of my schedule and 24 hour shifts. Any suggestions? Anyone else succeed at their custody case? Any comments would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
Well i'm going for custody of my daughter at this present . all i can say i hang in there and try to prove that your the most suitable parent for them to be with.
I have had some luck in working out custody arrangements based upon a firefighter's schedule. Judges are used to thinking about someone's work schedule - and therefore custody - based on a 9 to 5 - five day a week schedule - and need to be educated about our schedules.
The bottom line is if the parties are getting along the judges will be more willing to embrace something different, but if the parties are at war they will be much more conservative.
Make sure you have reliable day care services for your children even a family member that can watch them while you work. Keep a positive outlook and keep your chin up. It can be done.
Permalink Reply by Jim on November 30, 2007 at 7:38pm
Hello sugar..Well I work a 24 on 24 off shift. I do not have full custody, but my kids live with me full time. Their mother gets to see them on Wednesdays and everyother weekend. Now if Im working she does have the option to have them, but only if I'm working. Alot of people try and tell you that your shift work is a shot in the foot...It's a crock...sometimes yes...but heres the catch...Whats dads work schedule like..and if you get full custody...who is going to watch them while your at work...What the court will look at is trying NOT to change what their doing already. Try talking Dad into letting you have them and he can see them while you work...unless he lives several miles away...
It can be tricky..but it can be done. show that the amount of hours you spend with them on one day off is more than their father would after he gets off his 8 hour day. You see your around them more during you day off then he could be on his day off. Except when your working of course. It all comes together. Dont let the judge get confused with your work schedule...its very hard for some to understand how we work. Well I hope I can help our a little bit....Best of luck darling....Keep your head up and your hope high....those kiddies need it. Jim : )
All I can tell you is that you're female, which means you hold the balls in Divorce court.
Make sure you start a journal and every day log in contact from the other parent in regards to contact with children their current state of mind report cards and extra curricular activities.
Make sure you log the soft stuff in Blue ink anything that should sound alarm in red and normal routine events in Black.
Attorneys are junk, if you can get around them and work things out as Parents do so.
Check your attitude at the door the most important issue left is the Children and no matter what they are alway's watching not necessarily listening.
On your shift issues focus on the day's off not day's on. And have a plan course of care when you're on duty along with a signed letter by the care provider that will be providing these services in hand and nororizd for court.
Don't go to court looking like a prom queen go looking like the drapes you don't want to stick out but look professional in the terms of who the judge would like his children to be raised by.
Speek in terms of childrens health and safety Doctors appointments Dental, Physical exams be able to show their appointments.
Be able to name the School, Mascot, Principle, Teachers and closest friends.
These things shoud help but remember the kids are alway's watching.
Well you arent the only one going thru custody battles.I have a son and am going thru a custody battle as well.I have been told that nowadays judges are looking more toward the guys for the custody rights to be given to.Dont be alarmed this may not be true in your area but out here in the west it is.I think that the judge would look at you more highly than say ur ex-husband depending on the case..see I also work 48 on 24 off shifts and am on call 24/7..I dont know what the judge would decide in my case either..so if anyone has any clue please not only help her but help me too, cuz I need it..
Permalink Reply by Jim on February 17, 2008 at 8:42pm
I just went through the same thing last year. i have had custody of my son since he was 18 months old. I joined the guard in 2006 and last february my ex filed a change in custody petition. The decision was put on hold until I got back from training. My schedule may be a little different from yours. We are on 48 hours first out and on call for 24. My son is at the baby sitters for the 48 hours. the judge still ruled that I had a more stable life to offer my son than she did. i hope your case went as well. I know a lot of prayer went into mine...
Permalink Reply by Shawn on February 19, 2008 at 10:31am
Hi Christy! Hang in there and don't give up the fight! I too have a custody battle going on and it has been horrible! I live in Maryland and am in the Navy (shore duty, retire soon) and I also am a volunteer. I have 3 kids (B/13, G/11, G/7) and I don't get to see them very often because their "mother" has custody and lives in Florida. She moved them last year right after I re-married and filed for custody. Her "husband" is abusive and I have had to file reports. My son has stated from the begining that he wants to live with me and my wife and the oldest daughter is afraid that if he is the only one allowed to move, that she will be the next target. There is a whole lot more to it but, I don't want to shut down the server!!! It sounds like you have a lot going for you and all sounds favorable so far. I have to agree with "Tillerman": document, document, document!!! The court should be willing to hear the childrens wishes. Mine have a court appointed Guardian ad-litem to look out for them on legal issues and because they are of the age to have a say. They all hate it where they live and live in constant fear of punishment or worse. They will get to speak to the judge in chambers regarding everything. I have my hearing coming up on 12 March. Hang in there and if you or anyone else want to "talk" more to me about this stuff, let me know, email me: mtlsmythe@comcast.net
i don't know how you have been handeling the last 7 years but my girlfriend's parents do joint custody where they alternate days and weekends. maybe you could try that and let him have the kids when your working your 24 hour shift it might make things a easier