The Social Network & Community JUST for Firefighters
Not Sure What to Do???
I got into EMS about 4 and a half years ago. I was single, no kids, no responsiblities and loving every second of EMS. Everyday in one way or another I was on a truck. I volunteered with 2 departments, worked full-time with another and part-time at another. I loved the job, I loved not knowing what I was going to be up against, and most of all I was incredibly dedicated to EMS.
In July of 2005, I found out that I was pregnant. Completely unplanned. I never wanted kids, never wanted to get married, etc so forth! All that changed once I realized that motherhood was coming, rather I wanted it to or not! Little did I know that that would not be the only thing to change.
Towards the end of my first trimester, my mind set starting changing to what my child would need for a healthy development. I started by opening myself up to having a real relationship with the babies father....who is now my husband. Then my career goals started to change. I didn't want to be on a truck as much, not too mention the lack of time. I dedicated myself to my son more and more.....and still do as much as humanly possible.
Now here is my issue! My husband is also in paid EMS and is also a volunteer firefighter. The EMS station that we both work for is extremely unreasonable and demanding. In June I went to part-time status because of constant conflict with babysitters schedules and my inablity to drop everything at a moments notice to run a transport or answer a call. I have pretty much resigned with both my volunteer squads because I have no one that can be with my son at a moments notice. I don't have time for all the meetings and its hard enough for me to attend con-eds.
I'm past the point of burn out. I work 5 sometimes 6 days a week between 8 to 16 hours a day at my 2 part-time jobs in order to provide for my family. My husband has an ex-wife....so you can pretty much guess where all his money goes (child support!) The politics involved with the paid station are absolutely ridiculous. The bullshit call volume has increased dramatically in the last 2 years. Its enough to make you scream! I feel as though I never see my family and have given serious thought of giving up EMS entirely. I'm currently looking for a full-time 8 to 5 non-EMS related job - and I have a couple of applications pending....unfortunately state of VA has issued a hiring freeze...so all have been delayed.
In my perspective.....its time for me to get out! This is clear.....the question comes in, do I let me certification expire? Alot of people around here have told me that I will regret it. I worked my ass off to get my Intermediate. And up til about 2 monthes ago I was still considering maybe going Medic. Now...I don't know what to do! At times....the job still gives me that good feeling _ especially when on calls where people really need me! Acid reflux, paper cuts, colds, stubbed toes, and can't walk have gotten me to a point where I can tolerate stupid less and less! I find myself somedays not giving one rats ass about the people that call us, at least not the bullshit ones! Why call EMS because your nose was bleeding 5 hours ago for all of 10 minutes enough to slightly discolor a tissue. Medcaid.....the down of this nation! Its a GOD send to those who really need it.....but a damn headache when folks abuse it!
Somedays are better then others, I can take them in stride and keep my head about me. Other days.....I want to look at these people, give them directions to WAl_Mart and educate them on difference between Emergency and shit you can fix yourself! Not even the hospital can fix stupid! Out of every 10 calls we get in a set time frame - maybe 1 will be an actually situation for us to be called to. Hypoglycemia, OD's, heart attacks, CVA's, unresponsive, serious trauma, calls like that I can understand. I can even understand the majority of Ped's calls - even the bullshit ones, because at least the parent is concerned....those I don't mind! Don't call me for leg cramps!
Some of my co-workers/friends say to just take a break from it for a while. Get the new job....stay part-time there but don't work for the first couple weeks, maybe even months if need be! So now I'm asking all of you....I'm sure someone has been in my shoes....or in a similar situation. What worked for you. Is it possible to regain to drive I once had for the job, for the field. Or am I doomed for total misery at so much as the sight of an ambulance for the rest of me life???? Stay in or get out????
In July of 2005, I found out that I was pregnant. Completely unplanned. I never wanted kids, never wanted to get married, etc so forth! All that changed once I realized that motherhood was coming, rather I wanted it to or not! Little did I know that that would not be the only thing to change.
Towards the end of my first trimester, my mind set starting changing to what my child would need for a healthy development. I started by opening myself up to having a real relationship with the babies father....who is now my husband. Then my career goals started to change. I didn't want to be on a truck as much, not too mention the lack of time. I dedicated myself to my son more and more.....and still do as much as humanly possible.
Now here is my issue! My husband is also in paid EMS and is also a volunteer firefighter. The EMS station that we both work for is extremely unreasonable and demanding. In June I went to part-time status because of constant conflict with babysitters schedules and my inablity to drop everything at a moments notice to run a transport or answer a call. I have pretty much resigned with both my volunteer squads because I have no one that can be with my son at a moments notice. I don't have time for all the meetings and its hard enough for me to attend con-eds.
I'm past the point of burn out. I work 5 sometimes 6 days a week between 8 to 16 hours a day at my 2 part-time jobs in order to provide for my family. My husband has an ex-wife....so you can pretty much guess where all his money goes (child support!) The politics involved with the paid station are absolutely ridiculous. The bullshit call volume has increased dramatically in the last 2 years. Its enough to make you scream! I feel as though I never see my family and have given serious thought of giving up EMS entirely. I'm currently looking for a full-time 8 to 5 non-EMS related job - and I have a couple of applications pending....unfortunately state of VA has issued a hiring freeze...so all have been delayed.
In my perspective.....its time for me to get out! This is clear.....the question comes in, do I let me certification expire? Alot of people around here have told me that I will regret it. I worked my ass off to get my Intermediate. And up til about 2 monthes ago I was still considering maybe going Medic. Now...I don't know what to do! At times....the job still gives me that good feeling _ especially when on calls where people really need me! Acid reflux, paper cuts, colds, stubbed toes, and can't walk have gotten me to a point where I can tolerate stupid less and less! I find myself somedays not giving one rats ass about the people that call us, at least not the bullshit ones! Why call EMS because your nose was bleeding 5 hours ago for all of 10 minutes enough to slightly discolor a tissue. Medcaid.....the down of this nation! Its a GOD send to those who really need it.....but a damn headache when folks abuse it!
Somedays are better then others, I can take them in stride and keep my head about me. Other days.....I want to look at these people, give them directions to WAl_Mart and educate them on difference between Emergency and shit you can fix yourself! Not even the hospital can fix stupid! Out of every 10 calls we get in a set time frame - maybe 1 will be an actually situation for us to be called to. Hypoglycemia, OD's, heart attacks, CVA's, unresponsive, serious trauma, calls like that I can understand. I can even understand the majority of Ped's calls - even the bullshit ones, because at least the parent is concerned....those I don't mind! Don't call me for leg cramps!
Some of my co-workers/friends say to just take a break from it for a while. Get the new job....stay part-time there but don't work for the first couple weeks, maybe even months if need be! So now I'm asking all of you....I'm sure someone has been in my shoes....or in a similar situation. What worked for you. Is it possible to regain to drive I once had for the job, for the field. Or am I doomed for total misery at so much as the sight of an ambulance for the rest of me life???? Stay in or get out????
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Tristen Cruz on
-
I think the temporary break is the way to go. It sounds like you've been burning the candle at both ends plus the middle and that is a natural recipe for burn-out. Take a break. If you miss it terribly (like I did when I left the field for a while) then you'll find a way to get back in while still giving time to your family. If not, well then you'll find your greener pasture. Just my thoughts, anyway.
-
Permalink Reply by Keri Taylor Bain on
-
I guess it all goes back to "nothing ventured, nothing gained!" Your right...my candle is noting but a big pile of wax!
-
Permalink Reply by Spanner 122 on
-
Take a break! You do sound like you need one, but you do not sound like you need to get out entirely.
A couple of points;
- your baby will grow up/get older. it will not always be this difficult. You sound a lot like me in some ways. I am a single mother and have been for many years. I am not the most maternal in the traditional sense, but have a natural need to care for those around me. Being a Mom has been fantastic, I missed a lot of time with my daughter when she was younger because I had to work two full time jobs and a part time job to support us. If you can take the time now, spend less time at work and more time at home, even if you have to give up some things you will thank yourself when your child is older. I eventually did this too, I put myself into some serious debt that I was able to climb out of eventually, but the memories with my child will always be there. :)
Now, back to the job. As your child gets older, it gets easier to find sitters (because they can be a little younger and still be able to take care of your child). You will be able to build a network of sitters, high school kids and their friends (just make sure you know them).
You, at one point, wanted to be a medic. You can still do this, take some time, get your bearings, keep your current certs up to date and when your head has stopped spinning you will see there is time to get things done. Make a plan! Your child will grow up watching you work hard; setting and reaching goals and being happy with what you are accomplishing. What could be better than that??!! :)
You may eventually find something else that you love and decide not to go back to being a paramedic, but to make that decision now with so much going on in your life is likely not wise. I was very broke and very discouraged because I had applied for so many years and just wanted to be a part of the Fire Department. I almost gave up and a friend gave me a kick in the ass and reminded me it was one more test, put the money down and just do it. I was hired 5 months later.
Don't lose sight of your dreams and goals, no matter what life throws you! :)
Take care of you and keep your head up!
A quote that reminded me to take things one day at a time.
"I burn my candle at both ends,
It gives a lovely light.
But, ah my friends and oh my foes,
It will not last the night."
I believe that's Carl Sandberg
PS - You have passion for your career, it's evident. Whether it feels negative or not right now, it's passion. Things have a way of righting themselves.
-
Permalink Reply by ffbam24 on
-
Ahhhh, burnout. It's everywhere.
Tell you what though, sounds like you could use a break. First off:
Keep your cert up.
Take a break but keep your eyes and ears open.
You never know what may come your way that is more flexible in the field.
Good luck,
bam
-
Permalink Reply by Engineco913 on
-
Burnt out is a common. I understand what you mean about being burnt out, I am a father of 3, manage a full time job, and also am one of the top 10 in calls, trainings and meetings in the department. As always, family is first, and always should be. It took me a while to realize this, almost at the loss of my beautiful fiance.
My suggestion is like the last, maintain your cert's, they don't stay young for long. Take some time to enjoy life while you are still young and able to enjoy it. All too often we never have the time to step back and see all that we miss. Be well and stay safe, better days are ahead
-
-
Thank you guys for all the support. Leads me to believe that just maybe there is hope for me yet. Especially knowing that so many for you have been here and been able to overcome and thrive! Again...thank you!
-
Permalink Reply by Firegal77 on
-
looks like lots of people already said what i was gonna say, so..."Ya, what they said" !! Keep the certs. decisions made in haste and in a negative emotional state are better left with a life line to follow back. As a single mom I can tell you it is not easy no matter what job you are doing, but sounds like taking a break from the current situation may help.. Keep your chin up, you'll survive!(at least that's what i keep telling myself) ;) GO ON VACATION BEFORE JUMPING BACK INTO A FULL TIME JOB!!! Breathe a little! Best of luck!
© 2024 Created by Firefighter Nation WebChief.
Powered by
