Comments to dispatch

So what is the funniest thing you have ever said to dispatch or heard over the radio?

"The roads are slicker than goose snot" (neighboring station, this still has a rolling)

"Standy by for clear code or you can pick one" (my station, I could not find our code book)

So what have you done to make dispatch laugh, shake their heads, and go "Really?"

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Permalink Reply by Just Plain Craig Moyer on February 6, 2011 at 2:05am

Was driving and a heard a dispatch for an accident. Since I was only a 1/2 mile away I stopped by. The company ended up with an engine, rescue, field piece and van. Must have been 50 FF's there. I'm thinkg we don't have 50 FF's in our company let alone to respond to an accident.

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Permalink Reply by Just Plain Craig Moyer on February 6, 2011 at 2:11am

My Department - Van 30 10-2 (on location) taking the hydrant. 301 10-2 fully involved...on a field fire. 304 to 305 we're you going....305...(the Famous Dicky Pyle on the cherry run of the new engine) FOLLOW MEEEEEEEE.

Other Departments - Engine __ 10-2 fire showing...1 min later...send help, please send help ( I think he wanted a 2nd alarm) Chief to Ladder 66 Take Mayflower st....no you can't get there...okay go to Main st to...Shit you can't get there that way either. Same fire...Give me more water I can piss harder then that.

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Permalink Reply by Brian Dumser on February 6, 2011 at 6:39pm

Too funny!

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Permalink Reply by Brian Dumser on February 6, 2011 at 6:41pm

We got a bleeder!

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Permalink Reply by Brian Dumser on February 6, 2011 at 6:57pm

That happens every so often on our freq.

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Permalink Reply by Alex Sharp on February 6, 2011 at 9:09pm

A neighboring departments Chief who is no longer a chief there was at scene of a car vs. cow and our dispatch kept asking for a report on conditions and he finally came back with, "Cars wrecked, cow's dead, send a tow."

I used to work for two different departments in two different counties so we had different dispatch. There were a couple of times that I called "Camino" instead of "San Andreas."

During 2008 when I was in the USDA Forest Service during the lighting that caused 1,000's of fires in California. One of the LEO's was calling in weather as she drove through it and it went something like this.

"Camino, three king three."
"Three king three, Camino"
"Camino, three king three. There is some slight precipitation above illcot bridge and uhh a rainbow."
"Camino copies."

It was the joke for the rest of the day. When the afternoon fire weather was read by dispatch they put in a rainbow activity level and could not stop laughing enough to complete the report.

Usually the dispatchers don't read the fire weather before they actually read it over the radio so people will put stuff in it such as, 100% Humidity at the bottom of the lake, I think its fall, nothing's going to burn today, etc...

We were going staffing for a fire once that we never ended up going to but 2 units from another department in our area were. One unit was following the other and we heard over our command frequency, "6180, you're losing your hose." Without even a pause my buddy who was staffing with me immediately replied, to me, not over the radio, "Keep your pimp hand strong 6180; keep your pimp hand strong."

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Permalink Reply by Kevin Teel on February 7, 2011 at 12:52am

ok i got a couple... when i was a probie i would usually ride officer on the rescue when my engine was out of service because the rescue was the last due unit on everything... every now and again the 1st due engine would call in saying they're on the approach. one call i can't forget was a bs alarm at one of our lovely industrial buildings, i radioed "rescue 611 is on the approach on gregg st" command replies back "611 rescue your cleared to land at gregg and industrial" the dispatcher (who was a firefighter on truck company) called in "when did that stretch become an airport and when did my rescue become a cessna?"

And an all-time classic when we operated on low band radios and weren't recorded, my captain (who is now chief) would mess around on the radio after pulling back into the house after a run. he would key up "RRRAAAAWWWRR" and the chief would come back saying "cap i thought you had that fixed weeks ago" no one had a frigging clue it was the captain messing around.

and finally, last year i'm sitting at the firehouse watching tv after work and i hear town way out of our mutual aid zone get a working fire on the scanner. one of the mutual aid towns in that area was toned out and the dispatcher says "demarest fire dept, your cordially invited to participate in the creskill fire truck company to stand by in the creskill firehouse." it was actually one of the funniest thing i've ever heard on the radio that didn't include my dept.