Comments to dispatch

So what is the funniest thing you have ever said to dispatch or heard over the radio?

"The roads are slicker than goose snot" (neighboring station, this still has a rolling)

"Standy by for clear code or you can pick one" (my station, I could not find our code book)

So what have you done to make dispatch laugh, shake their heads, and go "Really?"

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Permalink Reply by Patti Walz on February 2, 2011 at 2:14pm

Do your dispatchers work in the same call center?

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Permalink Reply by Vincent Webster on February 2, 2011 at 4:11pm

Thought of another funny one....we went on an animal rescue (four animals in floodwaters) that needed to be assisted to dry land (incident is my profile pic). Anyway, one of the animals was a donkey. After he made it to dry land we called to operations to advist them that we had saved our ass.

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Permalink Reply by Izzy ( J. Bade) on February 2, 2011 at 8:27pm

listening to a new Lieut., upon arriving at his first "rockin'" house fire, reports, " engine 30-2, on location, I have heavy..... HOLY S*&%..........." I was the dispatcher, needless to say, I couldn't respond because I was laughing hysterically

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Permalink Reply by Reg Mathis on February 2, 2011 at 11:23pm

A couple of my favorites:

Heard a dispatcher page out a station one afternoon in the following manner. "Station 4, need to respond to ### Highway ##A for a 48 year old male threatening 10-44(Suicide) by phone... I never was sure if he was calling in to threaten suicide, or planned to strangle himself with the cord. Or maybe beat himself senseless with the handset?

Late one evening, I got a chuckle out of this one: Station 3, need to respond emergency traffic to (address). Caller reports an 78 year old male with COPD and end-stage emphysema complaining of...(wait for it)...difficulty breathing... Well No Shit!

And lastly, this one came in two parts: 1. Station 1, need to respond to (address), caller states a 21 year old male is acting strangly and talking to people who aren't there. (Several minutes elapse) 2. Station 1, caller has called back and asked that we please hurry, subject is now hiding under a coffee table.

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Permalink Reply by Colin Carswell on February 2, 2011 at 11:52pm

In my old department, when the first due apparatus arrived on scene the Officer on board would establish command. We would usually use a street name, (ie. "HWY 97" command), however in these cases the particular officer in charge could not resist!!!

Dispatch: Engine ##, Engine #*, respond to Trinity baptist Church for report of smoke in the building......
Engine##: dispatch Engine ## has arrived on scene, establishing "Holy Smoke"command.......

Dispatch: Engine #* respond for alarms at Mission Hill Winery......
Engine #*: dispatch Engine #* on scene, establishing "Missionary" command.......

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Permalink Reply by Jeff P on February 3, 2011 at 12:07am

When I first joined the city fire department i still had my old department stuck in my head and i go lr engine 425 is enroute greene county and the dispatcher came back and gose lr engine 435 is in route what that all about she said ! And then im like oppps I meant springfiled engine 1 and everybody still gives me crap over it ! And im a captain now its been a while since i have that

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Permalink Reply by Bill Anderson on February 3, 2011 at 3:20am

Got a couple from my dispatch days back in the 70's when all of Northeast Texas was on 37.260.

Neighboring department sends his officers to a fight call stating "Them n-------s are fighting down there."

I sent an ambulance on a call after a rain storm. They were in a low top suburban. Radio was quiet until you hear "G-- damn, Grady," silence. Then, "Damn Grady, you feel this MF sliding?" Again silence. Then, "Dammit Grady, slow this MF down." When they went 10-23 I was laughing so hard I could barely talk. Seems the mike cord had a momentary short and the transmit light wouldn't light up. When they got to the hospital I had them call me on the phone. When I repeated what was said the unintentional offender asked how much I heard, I told him everything. He said, "Oh sh-t." No telling how many people heard this.

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Permalink Reply by Matthew LaRock on February 3, 2011 at 4:58am

We were dispatched one night to what turned out to be a fatal car fire, but the disptacher when we were disptached goes respond to a report of a car on fire, one caller is reporting the car as fallen out of the sky and is on fire. What this caller saw was the car went airborne and he saw it landing after almost going 20ft into the air