we were called out at 345am to assist a citizen. apon arrival we found a 29 year old male laying prone on his bed with the sheets up to his neck, we asked him did he call for ems, he replied "yes, i need some help", so the normal routine of question's we ask, and he called us to change the batteries in his dildo, and put some more lube on it, he claimed it was stuck in his rectum, i thought you have got to be kidding me, we told him we couldnt do that or remove it for him because it wasnt blocking his airway, we offered him transport to the er, and we placed him on the streacher face down and transported him to the er,, and the whole way, he was crying about how his boyfriend is gonna be pissed at him,,, it was funny, but not at 345am, and it was very embrassing me to see the doctor and the nurses telling them what i had just brought in to them.... hope you guys never run in to this kinda call..