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Your Emotional Relationships With Fire Itself
Hello ...
I genuinely would like to hear some of you tell me about your emotional relationships (not with people) with fire itself. Will you share?
Rarely do I tell people this (... and now I've gone overboard and posted it on the internet) but I have an extraordinary respect and awe of fire itself. I used to wonder if my feelings about fire were somehow sick. I don't understand where these feelings come from. I am just attracted to it. Whether it is in a fireplace, or a warehouse. I feel drawn to the complexity of it. I have never, in my life, heard anyone else confess this out loud. Certainly, this must apply to at least some of you?
I don't think that 100% of you are drawn to firefighting "solely" because it's a job and it helps others. (I suspect it is often like a kind of calling from the soul.)
As a child, I figured I'd grow up to be either a firefighter or an arsonist. I just wanted to be around it. I was an underachiever in these two respects --- and did neither. I lacked the physical strength (I tried) to become a firefighter, and the destructive & criminal streak (thank goodness) to become an arsonist.
However, I feel that I've always had a relationship with fire somehow. Is it only me? (Of course, it just would have been wrong if I had been born as anything other than a fire sign!)
The duality of fire (it's simultaneous beauty and yet its tenacity to destroy) affects who I am, and how I look at life. It's quite the metaphor. I suspect that none of you could do your job without a tremendous level of "respect" for fire. So that's what I'm curious about. Do you have any other feelings about fire, or for it, that you will share?
It goes without saying that you see lots of injury, loss of life, property destruction, and ruined lives and natural habitats in what you do. Never (never) would I diminish the true devastation of that. But I wish to know what you "feel emotionally about fire" beyond being a hero doing a job, which is what each of you clearly are.
Is there anyone out there who will admit that they love fire and its power, without feeling it is blasphemy to your profession?
Let me know.
I genuinely would like to hear some of you tell me about your emotional relationships (not with people) with fire itself. Will you share?
Rarely do I tell people this (... and now I've gone overboard and posted it on the internet) but I have an extraordinary respect and awe of fire itself. I used to wonder if my feelings about fire were somehow sick. I don't understand where these feelings come from. I am just attracted to it. Whether it is in a fireplace, or a warehouse. I feel drawn to the complexity of it. I have never, in my life, heard anyone else confess this out loud. Certainly, this must apply to at least some of you?
I don't think that 100% of you are drawn to firefighting "solely" because it's a job and it helps others. (I suspect it is often like a kind of calling from the soul.)
As a child, I figured I'd grow up to be either a firefighter or an arsonist. I just wanted to be around it. I was an underachiever in these two respects --- and did neither. I lacked the physical strength (I tried) to become a firefighter, and the destructive & criminal streak (thank goodness) to become an arsonist.
However, I feel that I've always had a relationship with fire somehow. Is it only me? (Of course, it just would have been wrong if I had been born as anything other than a fire sign!)
The duality of fire (it's simultaneous beauty and yet its tenacity to destroy) affects who I am, and how I look at life. It's quite the metaphor. I suspect that none of you could do your job without a tremendous level of "respect" for fire. So that's what I'm curious about. Do you have any other feelings about fire, or for it, that you will share?
It goes without saying that you see lots of injury, loss of life, property destruction, and ruined lives and natural habitats in what you do. Never (never) would I diminish the true devastation of that. But I wish to know what you "feel emotionally about fire" beyond being a hero doing a job, which is what each of you clearly are.
Is there anyone out there who will admit that they love fire and its power, without feeling it is blasphemy to your profession?
Let me know.
Replies are closed for this discussion.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Engineco913 on
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John Orr had a love of fire. I think he has about 3 life sentences left...
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Permalink Reply by Sherri on
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Thanks for that ... I had to google John Orr to see who he/she was talking about.
But it's nice to know that everyone won't make fun of the attempted discussion.
Your bravery is not restricted to fighting fires --- I appreciate that --- and the
"respectful distance" is duly noted.
~ Sherri -
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I think it is great that your a "Supporter Only " as stated in your profile, but you should get some help. I am not saying this to be mean, or demeaning in any way. Anyone who is compelled to state they have a love of fire needs serious mental health correction.
Fire should be respected and feared. It is a tool, not a toy for ones amusement or admiration.
The FBI profile of an arsonist provided to ATF states that the person who is an arsonist does it for a variety of reasons. One of those reasons is a compelling desire to watch the beauty of the burn. They got this by interviewing serial arsonists. Get help before one day you are "compelled" to start one and end up killing yourself in the process, killing a firefighter, killing a civilain, or break into a pattern you can't stop. -
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Permalink Reply by TexasFire on
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Kinda scary that you admit that you thought about becoming either a Firefighter or an Arsonist. I say get help. The comment about becoming an arsonist...I don't think you came to the right place to make that kind of statement.
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Permalink Reply by Joe Stoltz on
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I enjoy a fire in a fireplace or the wood stove as a source of warmth. I even catch myself sitting and watching the flames for minutes on end.
But the point to remember is that fire is a chemical reaction - rapid oxidation of fuel in the presence of oxygen, etc. etc. It is NOT a living, breathing creature, as one person stated months ago on this web site.
And I'll decline the word hero, as many on this site would. We're just doing the job: putting the wet stuff on the red stuff, as soon as we possibly can, to minimize damage and protect others in the process. There's really no magic to that, although it can be addicting: once you've been on the nozzle of a 1 3/4" hose and extinguished a huge volume of fire, you're hooked for life. -
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I also said I was a child when I thought that about arson. Today, I know what it really is --- and if I had any true desire to be that way I'd be in prison by now. Lighten up. These were the feelings of a child --- and I couldn't have been more clear when I disclosed that. If we were all persecuted for feelings we had on a single occasion, we'd all be in jail alongside each other. Apparently most of you can run into buildings on fire, but are afraid to discuss true feelings openly. No one will admit an attraction to fire? Oh, except as a bad bad mean mean thing that has to be put out. Gee, that's strange.
I'm no longer a child --- and have no need to defend that just because I really love water that I don't want to drown people in it. Or if I loved guns, as many do, it wouldn't mean I wish to murder people with them. Because I love and enjoy cars, it does not denote that I aspire to run people down with them and thus need help. Life is full of contradictions. I can admit that fire is beautiful (even when it's results are not.) It's no different than people being beautiful, although what they do often isn't.
I'm really surprised (although perhaps I shouldn't be) that someone here isn't a little more deep and able to admit that. Genuinely sorry you are all so offended. Reciting the definition of an arsonist made me feel sad for you. I'd sure hate to have you on any jury, for any reason, if you think you can apply a criminal definition to my life because I shared how I felt as a child. Now THAT'S scary. Far more scary than I'll ever be !!!
The main thing I regret here is that you all feel hurt and offended that I've come to the wrong place to express feelings about fire --- and that somehow this expression insults you. Never my intention.
I think many people (not just those in dangerous jobs) fit the "hero" description. Parents are heroes everyday. While it may be modest to decline that you are --- I beg to differ.
A hero comes in many forms ... with and without flames licking at them. It starts with selflessness, and you are that. -
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First place I didn't say that you came to the wrong place to express your feelings about fire...I said...you came to the wrong place to state that you were thinking about being either Firefighter or an ARSONIST key word. 2nd. you don't have to worry about me being in a jury since I'm not a United States Citizen. I don't have any problems discussing my feelings about fire, there are only 2 places that i like to see or watch the fire burning, in my fireplace or bbq pit. And I don't think anybody got offended, perhaps concerned.
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Firefighter Spence ~
That was an extraordinary reply, thank you.
I do understand better now, unlike before, how "arsonist" is a serious trigger word for everyone's emotions in the firefighter community. I'm sure some of you have already decided that I am indeed one ... and that "I want to get caught" so that's why I'm on this website. Put away your Profiler 101 books and mystery decoder rings. This was only intended as an open conversation about feelings of being drawn to fire. It hit a nerve. Talk about combustion?
I am done defending whether fire is beautiful, powerful, mezmerizing, or able to create awe. Objectively, it remains all of those things. However -- not one of them impacts my ability to know right from wrong. Not one of them makes me want to inflict hurt and loss onto others. If I had been a career firefighter ... I, too, would have been drawn to the science of using human intellect to read, anticipate, and halt the progress of fire. That seems fascinating and challenging.
I never suggested that anyone (including myself) found pleasure in VICTIMS being the outcome of fires. I went so far as to include non-human victims, by acknowledging that fires devastate natural habitats. I'm an animal lover, and a major contributer to a 90-acre pet rescue in Southern California --- where fires frighten us and destroy the nearby landscape annually. Never for a second have I questioned whether you're truly there to help 'mitigate a life altering experience' for everyone, and (in my eyes) that contributes to making you heroes.
Your comment about not being left in a room alone with an arsonist made me smile, and restored my faith that somebody in the firefighter community can still have a sense of humor in the midst of a serious subject. (But gee, what if I was suddenly "concerned" and felt that you needed to seek professional help for even implying that 'revenge' to harm someone?) All of us own feelings that we never act on. Most of us have the ability to chat about them and leave it there. On the contrary, I do not fit into a tidy profile because I had an inkling (without knowing the full ramifications) decades ago as a school girl. Hopefully, it takes more than that for a good profiler to come to their conclusions. Otherwise, every little boy who watches a 007 type movie and momentarily wants to be an assassin would need intervention and psychological help 30 years later.
In closing, I'm sorry to hear about your harrowing experience on the disabled list, and multiple surgeries made necessary by an arsonist. That's truly awful. I hope you've made a full recovery.
~ Sherri -
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Permalink Reply by Will2745 on
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Where to begin? I was severely burned when I was 7 yrs old..Spent a little over 2 years in and out of hospitals for recovery and to be repaired.Am i afraid of fire? Sure I am. Do I have a respect for fire? Naturally I do...On the other side, i have been in the fire service for nearly 50 years...and one of the first things I was told after joining my first dept. was this,,,A fireman is a Frustrated firebug...was told it as a joke, but for some reason It has always stuck with me.
I am sure some deep thinking individual will read all kinds of things in that statement...but, know what? I believe it. I like you also have a facination for fire,,,and know enough to realize the right from wrong. -
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Since obviously people has to explain this with colorful pictures........ how would you feel if someone goes to a parenting webpage and says;" oh.. when I was a kid i though about becoming either a babysitter or a child molestor.... "
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Thank you "WILL2745" for your honesty. I hope your brotherhood doesn't turn against you for the courage to share it.
I have never heard that "firebug" saying before --- but it makes (some) sense that people become advocates for good in the areas of their lives that have either represented a passion or a peril.
With your experience as a burn victim you are a remarkable guy to turn it into 50 years of service. Bless you. -
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TexasFire:
I get the analogy. I think it's a bit off, but I get it. (There is nothing beautiful about child molesting.) You are someone who cannot even admit that fire is beautiful. Do you have a fireplace? Would you sit on a romantic date in a living room and watch someone molest a child? It's not the same thing.
Since we're fond of flinging definitions around here ... I just glanced at the Wikipedia online definition of ARSONIST and it is defined as a crime of maliciously, willfully, and voluntarily setting fire to buildings and property. While the results can inflict bodily harm on many people, I don't think I would personally put it in the assault category of child molesting and rape. Is that what they teach you? Do you draw your comparison because the law looks at it that way? Um, I don't think so.
Bottom line: I have said over and over again that I know (and thus have lived a life demonstrating) the difference between right and wrong. Your mind is simply made up that I'm a horrendous person because of something I admitted thinking as a child.
You need to be worrying about the people who DON'T admit what they honestly feel or thought, and secretly going around doing it.
Meanwhile, I will concede that I have (inadvertantly) ruffled a lot of feathers in the firefighting community with the one word. I truly didn't recognize that the one word would be the hot spot of the whole discussion. And now I know. Lesson learned. Sorry firefighters. Didn't mean to offend you that way.
~ Sherri -
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