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Permalink Reply by A.J. on March 7, 2009 at 4:13pm

Ive had to tell little kids that there older brother who was 9 was okay when he was killed on impact while his father and mother were both DUI i still see the kids face the CIS really helped although it really never goes away.

Ive also had to put one of my friends in the back of an ambulance after he was shot fatally in the head (he was still alive at the time) he was a Caldwell County Sheriffs Deputy and was killed while answering a 911 hang up call. that will never leave me and Ive had many sleepless nights due to it. & both of those calls happened in one week. However Chad my best advice is kinda what WestPhilly said you get ready and go the next fire, wreck, medical call, ETC and keep on keeping on because if you don't get back on the truck who will? If you need to talk to someone talk to someone it never hurts and the more you let out and let go the better it will get. God Bless.

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Permalink Reply by Chad Furr on March 7, 2009 at 4:31pm

I thanks all of you again. I am learning so many things on this site. It is great that you are pros and are willing to help a newbie. No other profession in the world would you find this support. Everyone else would be out fro theirselves and screw the next guy. TCSS and buckle up PLEASE

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Permalink Reply by rfdjumper on March 7, 2009 at 5:01pm

Tony,

If a person needs to talk to someone whether informal or through a professional, that is fine and I would never think less of them for it. On the flip side, some people can and do feel nothing, and there is nothing wrong with that. So I'm with West Philly on this one. We just had a fatal wreck the other day, and I felt absolutely nothing, and I'm just fine with that.

As far as people being forced to go to mass CIS briefings, in my opinion I feel that is not right. When I was still a volunteer we were forced to sit in a room and encouraged to express our feelings in a
Kumbaya environment. Again CIS should be available but not forced upon people. If you haven't gone postal after 20 years on the job then chances are you most likely won't.

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Permalink Reply by Tony P on March 7, 2009 at 6:56pm

I understand what you're saying, but that doesn't match the way I read West Philly's comment. I read what he posted as nothing is done, they just move on. I've been involved in fatals where I felt nothing, I also am fine with that. I've been involved with one fatal where I felt angry afterwards, very angry.

The only de-brief we're obilged to attend is the one immediately after the incident. Before we leave the Station. Those have the OiC of the incident give a very brief rundown on the incident, ask if anyone has anything to say and then remind us all that CIS is available for anyone who desires it. Nobody is obliged to say anything if they don't want to and it's not pushed. Doesn't sound like the horrible 'Kumbaya' meetings you were forced into! To paraphrase what you have said, CIS should be voluntary.

I'll add here that I've never felt the need to chat with CIS people. I just know it's there if I need it. But I've mentioned fatal incidents to family and friends, especially that one I was angry about. If a person hasn't gone postal after 20 years on the job, 20 years where they've never spoken about any nasty incidents with anybody that's great, but if that 20 years involved a person bottling up emotions then an explosion could be even greater. Not everyone needs to talk about the shit we see, there are many people who can be extremely dispassionate about the job. However some people are just being macho - and I'm not aiming that comment at anybody, just making a statement.

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Permalink Reply by Kris Wright on March 7, 2009 at 7:11pm

Over the years you will build up a 'hidden memory' of calls. One day you will be on a call that will bother you because it reminded you of one you were on previously, or the kids were the same age as yours, or the man looked like your dad or your sister...these familiarities can make a call 'feel' different for you, hit you harder than others. Some calls just don't bother you, no matter how gruesome or difficult they are. We all have different triggers. Be respectful to yours. Talk to those you trust around you. It is a sign of strength, getting through it...work through the feelings, smells, sounds, whatever it was that bothered you. If you need CISD...don't worry about it. It's a good thing. You don't have to sing kumbaya or hold hands...just voice what you experienced and hear what others did as well...dealing as you go prevents 'all the years of hidden memories' coming out at one event or scene. That takes much longer to work through and can cause physical problems as well as emotional ones. Take care out there...

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