After laughing a bit, what I would do is rip the zipper apart horizontally, i.e. pull hard on the left and right sides away from each other so the teeth of the zipper are ripped apart horizontally instead of vertically. In the movie, the frank and beans is probably some sort of chicken skin in a zipper, or perhaps a plastic mock up. It certainly is not Ben Stiller's private jewels.
Until you go on incidents like these, you can say what you might do.... But in reality, you MUST remain professional or your open for a complaints or lawsuit. I caution all that these are the types of calls that others "talk" about and violate privacy laws.
Very funny though... there is a time and a place for it.
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