Hello and welcome to Maine. I work for the Portland FD in the marine division. We don't often venture up to Falmouth but I can see it from Portland :) If you ever want a tour of the fireboat give me a shout. The new boat should be here in July. Take care and be safe.
Hope all is going well
man walks into a pet store and is looking around when he
> > spots a Chimpanzee in a cage marked, "$1000". The
> > man looks a little closer and discovers that the chimpanzee
> > is wearing a T-shirt bearing the
> > Maltese Cross and is cleaning a fog nozzle. Curious about
> > this, the man summons the storekeeper and asks him what the
> > deal is with this thousand dollar monkey. "Sir, You
> > have discovered our Fire Service Monkeys".
> >
> >
> > This one is our Firefighter version. It has a Basic
> > Firefighters certification with IFSAC seals, is also a
> > Licensed Paramedic, can perform vehicle extrications, high
> > angle rescue and is up to date on current CPR standards. A
> > very good value for a thousand dollars.
> >
> >
> >
> > The man is suitably impressed and moves to the next cage,
> > which is occupied by a gorilla - also wearing the same
> > T-shirt, but is gnawing on a pen and reading training
> > manuals.
> >
> >
> >
> > The storekeeper states, "Sir, You have discovered the
> > Captain model.This one has an Advanced Firefighter
> > certification, is capable of training the other monkeys in
> > basic firefighting skills, and can manage any emergency
> > scene. It can also type. A very good value for five-
> > thousand, Sir."
> >
> >
> >
> > Impressed, the man moves to the last cage. Inside, he finds
> > an orangutan, dressed in a white shirt and a tie, but
> > holding only a coffee cup. The man says, "What does
> > this one do that he's worth $10,000 ?"
> >
> >
> > The storekeeper clears his throat and says, "Ah, sir,
> > well, um. we have never actually seen him do anything except
> > drink coffee and play with himself, but he says he's a
> > Battalion Chief."
>
>
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.
You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?
An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie
Firestorm's Comments
Comment Wall (61 comments)
You need to be a member of My Firefighter Nation to add comments!
Join My Firefighter Nation
man walks into a pet store and is looking around when he
> > spots a Chimpanzee in a cage marked, "$1000". The
> > man looks a little closer and discovers that the chimpanzee
> > is wearing a T-shirt bearing the
> > Maltese Cross and is cleaning a fog nozzle. Curious about
> > this, the man summons the storekeeper and asks him what the
> > deal is with this thousand dollar monkey. "Sir, You
> > have discovered our Fire Service Monkeys".
> >
> >
> > This one is our Firefighter version. It has a Basic
> > Firefighters certification with IFSAC seals, is also a
> > Licensed Paramedic, can perform vehicle extrications, high
> > angle rescue and is up to date on current CPR standards. A
> > very good value for a thousand dollars.
> >
> >
> >
> > The man is suitably impressed and moves to the next cage,
> > which is occupied by a gorilla - also wearing the same
> > T-shirt, but is gnawing on a pen and reading training
> > manuals.
> >
> >
> >
> > The storekeeper states, "Sir, You have discovered the
> > Captain model.This one has an Advanced Firefighter
> > certification, is capable of training the other monkeys in
> > basic firefighting skills, and can manage any emergency
> > scene. It can also type. A very good value for five-
> > thousand, Sir."
> >
> >
> >
> > Impressed, the man moves to the last cage. Inside, he finds
> > an orangutan, dressed in a white shirt and a tie, but
> > holding only a coffee cup. The man says, "What does
> > this one do that he's worth $10,000 ?"
> >
> >
> > The storekeeper clears his throat and says, "Ah, sir,
> > well, um. we have never actually seen him do anything except
> > drink coffee and play with himself, but he says he's a
> > Battalion Chief."
>
>
Get the Moviefone Toolbar. Sh
You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Vinnie
At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie
Love it!
Welcome to
My Firefighter Nation
Sign Up
or Sign In
Or sign in with:
FireRescue Magazine
• Subscribe to our e-Newsletters
Find Members Fast
Or Name, Dept, Keyword
• Not a Member? Join Now