There are some pictures and memories we retain that are so painful we try to block them but they still are there. This morning over breakfast they crept out again. My steel has been tempered in the hottest of furnaces. I have seen death and told families when we could do no more, but the death of children still brings tears to my eyes and a deep pain to my soul.

A good family friend, a young paramedic had a call that involved the death of a baby. I know this will be with her forever. With her, the fire crews, the cops, and everyone involved. The bystanders who watch us work will never know how deeply we are affected by these incidents. We do what we have to do to keep it together at the time, but the scars cut very deep and last forever.

On a happier note, a retirement dinner is coming up. Because of the economy and new negotiations S.J.F.D is having large numbers of retirements. I generally do not attend these dinners but this time as a good friend is retiring, and I know most of the other 33 or so people being honored I will attend. One of the retirees is Karen, first women hired on the S.J.F.D. She is a B/C now. I remember when she came on the job. There was some resentment, one guy refused to sleep in the dorm with her. She quietly and efficiently did her job. She was a power lifter so no question about the usual complaint about females, (will they be able to carry me out if need be?). I had the pleasure of working with her on an engine and later when I was captain in charge of public education. She worked for me when she was pregnant and off-the-line. She set a high standard for the women who followed her.

Retirement dinners are always a bit sad: career over after 25 or 30 years. I have memories with almost all the people going. Mike B. worked with me on E17 along with Karen. Mike was a funny guy.
He was a excellent engineer and had your back at fires. He was also a s--t disturber mainly for the fun of it. I would work with him and Karen again in a minute.

Jeff C. came on when his dad was fire chief. His dad, Vince, was a very sharp guy. He did much to modernize the department. He made all his ranks young and retired young. Jeff, his son, a dedicated,hardworking person also made fire chief, but had to take a demotion or his son, the third generation of family firefighters could not get hired due to a policy now in affect barring the hiring of a family member by a family member. Jeff and I were competing for a B/C promotion once. He got the spot and did a great job intregrating the paramedic program: far better job than I would have done as I was not that supportive of the paramedic program.

We all know there are two types of firefighters: Those who charge in and go to war and those who feed hose in from the outside, charge bottles, and do support functions. Captains who stand on lawns with handy talkies, and captains in with the crew fighting fires.

I will not bore you with each member of the group of 30, only to say in most cases very good firefighters and officers. If I a had a five-story, fully involved structure burning with people trapped I would be proud to suit up with this group and knock the hell out of that fire.

The Department will lose 800 and 900 years of experience. I have always thought
this was terrible loss to the department. There are numerous duties such as training, stores, equipment purchases, and others that could be done by retirees at a lower pay scale part-time or job sharing.

We learn from our mistakes and when a mistake is made it is burned into your memory.
The numerous tricks and mistakes to avoid are too valuable to let go. Who better to teach than retirees?