Since we've talked/exchanged messages for the past couple weeks, I started a specific work out plan in order to prepare for the test, I got my CPR cert. at a firestation from a firefighter, called a million schools offering emt classes and here I am, today, going NUTS over this little/cute/adorable part of my life: my son!
How do I do it? howwww? I have NO family here, I work from 8am to 5pm, commute for 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour after work. How do I get this started!!????
Yesterday, I lost all the hope and strenght I had accumulated those past few weeks. Seeing that this career that I'm so crazy about, might also be the most selfish act in the world at the same time. How can I do this without affecting my little boy? Going to school-ok- saturdays only, from 9 to 6, for 4 months for the EMT-B. Who, in the world is going to take care of my little one!!?? If I actually end up being a firefighter, 24h on the job, I can take it, but what do I do with junior???? The simple thought of giving up on custody while I go back to school and work my way up, is just unbearable.
How am I going to give up on my kid to satisfy MY needs...Gosh this is so hard/I want to help, be there for those in need but yet...I have this huge responsibility of being there for my 7 y old son...