Hi again!
Since we've talked/exchanged messages for the past couple weeks, I started a specific work out plan in order to prepare for the test, I got my CPR cert. at a firestation from a firefighter, called a million schools offering emt classes and here I am, today, going NUTS over this little/cute/adorable part of my life: my son!

How do I do it? howwww? I have NO family here, I work from 8am to 5pm, commute for 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour after work. How do I get this started!!????
Yesterday, I lost all the hope and strenght I had accumulated those past few weeks. Seeing that this career that I'm so crazy about, might also be the most selfish act in the world at the same time. How can I do this without affecting my little boy? Going to school-ok- saturdays only, from 9 to 6, for 4 months for the EMT-B. Who, in the world is going to take care of my little one!!?? If I actually end up being a firefighter, 24h on the job, I can take it, but what do I do with junior???? The simple thought of giving up on custody while I go back to school and work my way up, is just unbearable.
How am I going to give up on my kid to satisfy MY needs...Gosh this is so hard/I want to help, be there for those in need but yet...I have this huge responsibility of being there for my 7 y old son...

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Comment by fireman1049 on August 21, 2010 at 9:37pm
Maruska, where im going to college to get my degree as a parmedic, they have daycare for people with children.. perhaps you could find a college to acommidate you for day with your son while ur in class to be and emt.. dont give up.. there is always some way to overcome any obstacle befor u.. thats part of being an emt, or a firefighter.. being able to over come the obstacle is what makes it worth while because it gives u a sense of accomplishment..

keep smiling and remember, were pulling for u...

your friend,
John.
Comment by Maruska on March 24, 2009 at 8:49am
Thank you..was going through a rough spot yesterday...apologize for the "negativity" there...I somehow realized that it was not a good idea to throw myself into this right now and it felt pretty frustrating....Lauren, I'm 32, but you know, I don't think it matters anymore. Now I know that I'm going to take those EMT classes, quit my job, and then, take a paramedic class while working as an EMT. I don't know where I'll end up, when and how...maybe I'll become a firefighter one day after all, but I have to cross it out for now, or work my way up slowwwwly, by at least, being useful, and working in the Emergency Medical Field without having to sacrifice too much of our time together while my kid is still a kid...
Comment by FIRE BEAR on March 23, 2009 at 4:44pm
you will never be to old for being a emt but i was a single dad from the time he was 6 days old and with me being a firefighter with no family was tuff i found out it was easyer to give up my dreams of being a full time ff till he was old enough to understand well hes 24 now i got to see him grow up to be a man with his own carrer and i got to do all thengs with him a dad was supposed to and now im liveing my other dream of being a full time ff so i understand how you feel you can take emt class anytime but you can only teach your son to thro that babseball once miss that chance and its gone forever dont worry emt will always be needed and so will mom
Comment by Maruska on March 23, 2009 at 3:24pm
you're right "completely/entirely/end of the discussion" RIGHT. I'm miserable at work right now. Not going anywhere, sitting behind a desk and taking care of paperwork (hugh...). I'm a very active person. I'm frustrated. I thrive only when I can help, resolve situations. I guess that I felt, for the first time in my life, that I could DO something I really wanted. But I'm a mom, and I guess, tied up to this kinda life for a long time. When my son is big, I'll be too old to be a firefighter or to even attempt anything else in the emergency medical field. Your answer just express the way I feel in the first place. Was hoping to find a few encouraging voices but I'm just looking for comfort and support as I should be looking for a reality check....
Comment by Jeff Pearson on March 23, 2009 at 3:17pm
Ray put it perfectly. They will still be looking for FF's and EMT's in another 7 years.
Comment by Ray on March 23, 2009 at 12:56pm
I think you just need to remember, family comes first. Your son is only young once. I know you might think this sounds harsh, and I dont mean to come off that way. He needs you to be there for him!

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