hard run

the other day i want on one of the hardest runs i have had sence i strated as a ff and emt and i have had a hard time dealing with it.the run i had was a suv that want off the rd and into the river on it roof i was one of the frist ones on and there was nothing i could do till the engine got there we got the suv out of the water as fast as we could. i can remember another ff sayin there was 2 car seats and my heart dropped. we ended up finding the pt a 35 yr old woman from a few towns over that was a cpl yrs older then me lucky there was no kids in the car. i did cpr for a hr till we got to the hospital, and now i have a hard time sleepin and i keep thinking about what happen. dose anyone have any ideas to help me try and work through it. thank u

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Comment by FETC on February 13, 2010 at 5:17pm: Heather,

Well first off kudos for speaking out. Many will hold it in and let it eat you up. Remember from the moment your pager went off, the cards were dealt for this victim. We are emotionally in "the business" to help people but in reality we deal with stuff that has occurred without our consent.

As Ralph has said, you did the best you could, and nobody could ask for anything more from YOU.

Now that said, we are lucky once in a while that our best is just enough to intervene and truly make a difference in peoples lives, but alot of times no matter what we have taken for a class, no matter what we heroically do on scene, or say to a victim... none of that will save or bring people back from situations that are catastrophic.

Best thing to do is "Keep talking about your feelings" to whomever will listen to you, do not mask it with alcohol or drugs use... I suggest doing something very "physical" to vent some of your internal stress, (EXERCISE) and continue to eat and try to sleep.

If you feel this isn't working then I suggest speaking with your fire or EMS chief for more formal help. It is legally available to you in many ways, from CISD or personal one on one assistance.

FETC