First things first, I've been remiss in my posting on here. I've had my reasons. My heart wasn't in it.
In fact, all things fire service were tainted for me for the short term. I had to step back, take stock, and get back on track.

Mission Accomplished.

I've taken a step back for 2010. Last year I was elected to Lieutenant. I didn't necessarily feel that I had deserved the honor. I had some issues with time management, not personnel management. I liked wearing the white hat, but with my schedule, had to come to terms with the realization that my time had finite limits.

Saying "no" has been rare in my lexicon. It was time. I was stretched so thin between my day job, fire service interests, my involvement in Leukemia and Lymphoma Society---family, friends, and a new love interest, that i found myself doing the International Sign for Drowning with little feedback or support.

As I like to say as a pseudo-Italian....."Basta".....Enough.

Sometimes, something has to give. I knew that we had three guys equally capable of donning the White Helmet who were chomping at the bit. Young, yes, but two with the maturity to take it on...and one who has been my friend and confidant at the department since the start.

I chafed at my own dawdling. I knew that I didn't have enough free time to devote to the job, but was so reluctant to walk away from the challenge and I didn't want to feel that I abandoned my female counterpart by stepping back; i.e. "the chick can't handle the pressure". I can handle pressure, and plenty of it, but I have to admit that as I get older, my priorities are shifting. Besides, if I gave up the Lt. gig, perhaps that might free up my time to finally write my book.

What to do? What to do?

I knew the right answer, I just didn't want to admit it.

I called my Chief....."we have to talk" .
The conversation had taken on the connotations of an adolescent romantic breakup. I felt like I was giving up. But I had to hold true to my priorities.

He understood.

Elections can surprise you---my department rose to the occasion----my best friend took on my role...but for me, it was bittersweet. Some of my brethren understood, some not so much, but at least I can rest easy knowing I made the proper decision--and the relief I felt the moment I made that decision verified that I did the right thing.

How do you quantify "doing the right thing for the department" and wrap that around ego, drive, ambition and doing the best thing for both the department and my own personal needs?

I walk away (ok, not completely....I'm now a civil officer) hoping that nothing was in vain. I have faith in my replacement. He's a firefighter's firefighter. He's safe, he's responsible, and an all-around good man. But giving up the helmet hurt; I can't lie. But I'll find my own avenues of ingress....I'll create change and shift mind-sets where and when I can.

Unrelated:

Oh holy Football Gods......we've been given a shot.....40+ years of being the perennial NFL bridesmaid and suddenly, somehow....we've almost made it to the show!! Can we beat the Colts?
I don't know...as a Jet fan, I've learned to keep my expectations low and thrive on mediocrity. I don't know if the franchise can HANDLE winning the Big One.


So I wrap up my officership with high hopes for my Jets-Jets-Jets. And with the knowledge that doing the right thing for the right reasons is the right thing to do.