I was at a birthday party when I received an urgent request from another chaplain to take a call for him because he was to far away to respond in a timely manner. Because of the excellent rapport we have in each others districts I was more than happy to fill this request.
When I arrived, the engine company filled me in on the events of this code. The captain told me that the patient had been struggling to breath then began having chest pain before collapsing. After several attempts to revive the patient and learning that this gentleman had an advance directive the wife asked the crew to stop and they called the code. A deputy had been dispatched and was ready to begin the procedures following a death at home. The wife, however, insisted she wanted to speak with the Chaplain first and invited the officer to leave.
After almost a half hour of sitting and listening to the wife tell her story … a recitation which included profound memories of having survived multiple abusive relationships, leaving her native country, coming to the United States as an ‘undocumented alien’, providing for her children’s needs including paying for each one’s college education. Surviving the death of her first husband she was now in her late eighties, hoping to end her years with her second husband in their beautiful country home.
Her story was very sad but she told it with such passion and energy, I could only sit quietly and listen; before leaving, I asked if she would mind telling me why she was so adamant and determined to tell me her story before the officer could finish his investigation.
She wiped her tears and said: “Chaplain, I am trying to find a way to get through this terrible time in my life and by telling my story to someone who I believe really cares about people hopefully I will find the strength to carry on. I needed you to hear my story so I could feel strong again!”
Ministry of presence can mean many things. For me the most important thing is to not only to be a good listener, but to never leave before the victim has had the opportunity to offer their own meaning of the encounter.