FIREFIGHTER'S RULE OF GRAVITY:
Any tool, when dropped, will always come to rest in the least accessible place possible.



THE FIRST RULE OF EQUIPMENT:

Any piece of firefighting equipment will never malfuntion or fail until

you need it to fight a fire
the salesman leaves.


SECOND RULE OF EQUIPMENT:

Interchangeable parts don't, leakproof seals aren't and self starters won't.



FIREFIGHTER'S RULES OF THE BATHROOM:

If you have just gone to the bathroom, no call will be received.
If you have no just gone to the bathroom, you will soon regret it.
The probability of receiving a call increases proportionally to the time elapsed since last going to the bathroom.


RULES OF WARNING DEVICES:

The use of a siren on a firefighting vehicle while responding to a call will cause acute and total (but temporary) deafness to the drivers of vehicles in its path.
The use of warning lights on a firefighting vehicle while responding to a call will cause acute and total (but temporary) blindness to the drivers of vehicles in its path.


FIREFIGHTER'S RULE OF LIGHT:

As the seriousness of any given situation increases, the availability of light to illuminate the situation decreases.



FIREFIGHTER'S THEORY OF WEIGHT:

The weight of the equipment that you are about to carry increases by the square of the sum of the distance to reach the situation.



FIREFIGHTER'S RULE OF RULES:

As soon as the firefighting rules are accepted as absolutes, an exception to that rule will immediately occur.

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