I had a hard run on Saturday morning, with a huge hill in the middle of it (eight miles), followed by a recovery run on Sunday (yes, I know that the "recovery" run is an odd concept, but it works to keep you from being crippled after a hard run the previous day. It's not FUN, but it works).

I wasn't feeling inspired when I set out on Saturday, and every mile kept getting harder physically. My knees were hurting, it was getting really warm out, my back was tight and my right calf kept threatening to cramp up on me. I had a running list of swear words in my head and was fighting to keep a positive attitude through the whole thing.

At the water stop (I've never been happier to see a big plastic jug of warm water in my life) I was stretching out and chatting with some of the other runners (we had an astonishing 110 runners and walkers out for the group run on Saturday--that's almost unheard of except for the kickoff run) and then I walked off by myself for a couple of minutes before setting off for the return run. I quieted my mind and thought about WHY I was doing this....and then pulled up the visual of my "inspiration wall" at work and immediately felt better. I walked back to join Maureen and she asked me if I was ok. I told her about how I was feeling and she reminded me that when the going gets tough (and believe me, on any run longer than five miles, the going IS going to get tough) she pulls up little Tanner Zullo's face and keeps him in her mind while she works through whatever pain, or cramp or exhaustion she's feeling.

Tanner Zullo was an amazing little boy. He died just before his second birthday, right before Thanksgiving. While he was still alive I ran for him in Lake Placid my second year doing Team in Training, and met his mom and dad, and his sister at a bone marrow drive. This kid was pure sunshine. He RADIATED a positive energy. I never saw him cry, or fuss. Sometimes he would be quiet or intent on doing something, but the rest of the time he was laughing and giggling, even when his hair fell out, or when he was sick from chemo.

SO that's what I put in my head on the return four miles....Tanner, and Aidan, and Jake, and Brianna......and I found the guts to finish the run.

Here are some pics of my "inspiration wall" at work, when I don't feel like running or fundraising, I swivel my chair around and look at that.