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The Continuing Chronicles of the FNG (irl): The Rookie Turnout Throwdown
Also known as “Mel’s Big Humiliating Day”.
We had an OSHA refresher class at my department today. We had great attendance and two other departments were also invited.
The morning started out innocently enough; we covered our SOP’s and the newly mandated Rehab Standard, then moved on to Blood borne pathogens, and finished up the chalk and talk portion with an overview of PPE and SCBA’s.
The OFPC officer then announced that we would be heading out to the apparatus bay to practice donning and doffing our turnouts and to get a little more hands-on with the SCBA’s.
Someone in my department then piped up from the back of the crowd…”Hey, let’s have a little contest with donning the turnouts” (mental note to self---find that guy…and kill him) …and I started to sweat. I can get everything on in the proper order, that’s not an issue. However, SPEED is still a major sticking point for me.
We all pull all of our gear out and place it on the ground in front of us. Then I see the Asst. Chief from my department and the Chief from one of the visiting departments in some sort of confab with the OFPC officer and all three are grinning and looking at me and two fellow newbies. “This can only end badly” I thought to myself.
The visiting Chief then spoke the dreaded words…..
“Folks, we’ve decided to shake things up a little bit. Since our hosts have three new recruits, and our department has three new recruits, we’re going to have a Rookie vs. Rookie Turnout Contest. We’ll be timing them for proper attire, individual best time, and overall team time”.
They cleared the floor like it was some sort of twisted American Bandstand spotlight dance contest, and lined us up facing each other. The firefighter I was facing looked like he was 15…..and he grinned at me as if to say….”Sayonara Sister, I’m going to bury you”. I began chanting (in my head, I was already going to look like an idiot, no need to look like I was Looney-tunes on top of it) “boots, pants, suspenders, hood, coat, helmet, gloves….no problem….boots, pants, suspenders, hood, coat, helmet, gloves….I’m screwed….boots, pants……”.
A hush fell over the assembled crowd….the OFPC officer stood in the middle between the two lines, and started a 10 second countdown to begin.
Boots, no problem……Pants (and snaps), no problem……..suspenders up and hood on….I’m cooking now and still on par with my teenaged nemesis across the way……..coat…..damn it…..my hands are shaking and I’m having trouble with the snaps…….I start sweating profusely……..AARGHHH…..I lined up the snaps wrong………damn it……..The Junior Mint is almost done…….then I start hearing “done!”….”done!”…….crap…….ok, got the snaps straightened out….now I have to hook the clips……..please God, I’ll be a nicer person if you just get me out of this without making a complete ass out of myself…….FINALLY, the clips are hooked, helmet on, dragging on the gloves as my team yells “done” almost as one, but I’m pretty sure I was dead last. The Rookie Throwdown turned out to be a Rookie SMACKdown. At least I had my gear on right.
If there’s one thing that’s more certain than death and taxes, it’s that I’m going to be marching myself down to my department to practice those damned snaps until I can do it in my sleep and in nano-seconds. In the dark. Blindfolded. With gloves on. I did pick up one small tip…..grab that hood and jam it on while you’re down there grabbing your pants and suspenders.
I suppose in fairness, and in a feeble attempt to save face, that I mention that our visiting department’s turnout coats feature zippers and Velcro, not a row of snaps and a row of clips. My theory is that if I can shave my time down with snaps and clips, when it comes time to add the SCBA, I should do significantly better time-wise. Right? Right?????
Until next time…stay safe.
We had an OSHA refresher class at my department today. We had great attendance and two other departments were also invited.
The morning started out innocently enough; we covered our SOP’s and the newly mandated Rehab Standard, then moved on to Blood borne pathogens, and finished up the chalk and talk portion with an overview of PPE and SCBA’s.
The OFPC officer then announced that we would be heading out to the apparatus bay to practice donning and doffing our turnouts and to get a little more hands-on with the SCBA’s.
Someone in my department then piped up from the back of the crowd…”Hey, let’s have a little contest with donning the turnouts” (mental note to self---find that guy…and kill him) …and I started to sweat. I can get everything on in the proper order, that’s not an issue. However, SPEED is still a major sticking point for me.
We all pull all of our gear out and place it on the ground in front of us. Then I see the Asst. Chief from my department and the Chief from one of the visiting departments in some sort of confab with the OFPC officer and all three are grinning and looking at me and two fellow newbies. “This can only end badly” I thought to myself.
The visiting Chief then spoke the dreaded words…..
“Folks, we’ve decided to shake things up a little bit. Since our hosts have three new recruits, and our department has three new recruits, we’re going to have a Rookie vs. Rookie Turnout Contest. We’ll be timing them for proper attire, individual best time, and overall team time”.
They cleared the floor like it was some sort of twisted American Bandstand spotlight dance contest, and lined us up facing each other. The firefighter I was facing looked like he was 15…..and he grinned at me as if to say….”Sayonara Sister, I’m going to bury you”. I began chanting (in my head, I was already going to look like an idiot, no need to look like I was Looney-tunes on top of it) “boots, pants, suspenders, hood, coat, helmet, gloves….no problem….boots, pants, suspenders, hood, coat, helmet, gloves….I’m screwed….boots, pants……”.
A hush fell over the assembled crowd….the OFPC officer stood in the middle between the two lines, and started a 10 second countdown to begin.
Boots, no problem……Pants (and snaps), no problem……..suspenders up and hood on….I’m cooking now and still on par with my teenaged nemesis across the way……..coat…..damn it…..my hands are shaking and I’m having trouble with the snaps…….I start sweating profusely……..AARGHHH…..I lined up the snaps wrong………damn it……..The Junior Mint is almost done…….then I start hearing “done!”….”done!”…….crap…….ok, got the snaps straightened out….now I have to hook the clips……..please God, I’ll be a nicer person if you just get me out of this without making a complete ass out of myself…….FINALLY, the clips are hooked, helmet on, dragging on the gloves as my team yells “done” almost as one, but I’m pretty sure I was dead last. The Rookie Throwdown turned out to be a Rookie SMACKdown. At least I had my gear on right.
If there’s one thing that’s more certain than death and taxes, it’s that I’m going to be marching myself down to my department to practice those damned snaps until I can do it in my sleep and in nano-seconds. In the dark. Blindfolded. With gloves on. I did pick up one small tip…..grab that hood and jam it on while you’re down there grabbing your pants and suspenders.
I suppose in fairness, and in a feeble attempt to save face, that I mention that our visiting department’s turnout coats feature zippers and Velcro, not a row of snaps and a row of clips. My theory is that if I can shave my time down with snaps and clips, when it comes time to add the SCBA, I should do significantly better time-wise. Right? Right?????
Until next time…stay safe.
Add a Comment
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Comment by Engineco913 on February 17, 2008 at 4:18pm
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I agree with Art. Concetrate on something other than how not to screw up. Hood first (so its out of the way) as others have said. For the snaps, start top to bottom so you don't end up in a bind with the incorrect buttoning. The D clips are fairly easy and generally just take a quick pushing to get them to clip on perfectly.
We have a friendly competition here at my firehouse with SCBA (gear races are left in FF1 PPE section.) To gain a competative I generally have the mask straps pulled a little, and I put the mask on with regulator attached, pull the straps, pull the hood over, secure the helmet and your done. In my case it has worked well. Being fairly new it is just going to take practice and repetition to the point where it will not only be second nature to you, but you will be looking for someone to compete against. My average time for donning a SCBA is less than 20 seconds. (think in the 4 races we did for SCBA I averaged around 17 seconds.) thats all gear on accept gloves and helmet. gloves and helmet must be on to be considered done.
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Comment by Art "ChiefReason" Goodrich on February 17, 2008 at 1:54pm
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What are "snaps"?
Oh, right; we got rid of them 8 years ago. Zippers and velcro. Almost sounds like a comedy team.
Mel; you have some experience with snaps and other fasteners. It has nothing to do with the mechanisms. I has everything to do with spotlights. I know how you feel. Do you know I almost threw up the first time I played golf in a league foursome with people that I didn't know and of course, I hadn't played for very long. The tradition at the tee is that everyone watches you. When you are doing everything that you can to make sure everything goes right, there is a key component missing. It is "focus". You are so into "thinking" that you forget about "doing".
Next time there is a competition, think nasty things about your opponent. Pretend he's Michael Bolton or Kenny G. Make sure you have an antacid ready though.
At our annual school, the SCBA instructor is a real hard arse. Everyone has a timed evolution. If you don't do it on time, the WHOLE class has to do it again. Now; that ought to give you some inspiration.
Hey; they miss you at IACOJ.
TCSS.
Art
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Comment by Mary Ellen Shea on February 17, 2008 at 10:23am
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lol navy girl.
I have a thing for black clothes.....my mother is always telling me that they make clothing in colors besides black and gray.
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Yeah, yeah, I know...right is better than fast, but that doesn't help much when the kid who beat you in front of a crowd is younger than the pair of socks you're wearing.
:)
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Comment by LadyChaplain on February 17, 2008 at 10:04am
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yes, 35. i'm not much of a bowler. but the ball was navy blue... so i needed a picture of it... to go with my navy blue shirt.
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Comment by Mike on February 17, 2008 at 9:57am
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Agreed... right is better than fast. It takes me a good 1:20 to get mine on... but when I have it all on I a,m confident. Keep smiling!
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Comment by Vic Sr on February 17, 2008 at 6:28am
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hey don't you worry about how fast you put your bunker gear on {why} just remember when and alarm come in and your gearing up
1 have it on right the first time so you don't have to f..k with it at the fire and loss time
2 you did not start the fire so it will be burning when you get there,i've been in the fire service for 39 years in new york , florida, and now in the home of country music tennessee. so just take your time and do it right the 1st time that saves time good luck be safe and remember
''stay low and let the red bitch blow''
vic........ S.C.F.R
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LMAO.....a 35??? Was that on all ten frames?
Suddenly I'm feeling better about the turnout throwdown......
:)
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i bowled a 35 that day... lol
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Hey Kenz?
Nice bowling ball.....lmao.
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