#1 PT- “Take this oxygen mask off me I can’t breathe with it on”

#2 PT-“I’ll get in the back faster if I go by ambulance”

Reply- “That’s not really true, you could imagine some people would call 911 for the silliest things just to cut in line in front of all the people in the waiting room”.

#3 Your on scene, you know you’re in trouble when your patient still has their armband and EKG patches on from the ER.

PT- “I was at the hospital a few hours ago for vomicking (you know frowing up) and trouble breaving” they gave me some medicine and a prescription. But I’m feeling bad again and want to go back”

Reply- Prescriptions work best when you actually fill them and take the medicine.
(Sample, does not mean come back in 4 hours by squad and get more samples)

#4 PT- 9 months pregnant with a scheduled c-section today at 8:30 am. (It’s 3:00 am now) “I’m feeling bad and think I better go to the hospital”

Reply- You’ve had 9 months to find a way to the hospital. Was this really the plan?

#5 You walk through the living at 12:00 am on a school night. You find it odd that the four kids playing Xbox on the widescreen don’t even seem to acknowledge the strangers in uniform that just walked through. You find your Pt in the back. You try several lamps and light switches none of them work.

Reply- That beeping sound coming from your smoke detector every few minutes is not to let you know its working. And can I get a light bulb up in heeyaaa!

#6 Has anyone ever heard of an oxygen bottle exploding because a patient was smoking?
(Just tell them to put their cigarette out. After all, your there because they are having difficulty breathing).

#7 So, you were to sick to go to work today? (You know why this is funny)


#8 There is no 11 on a scale of 0 to 10. (If there were you’d at least be screaming)

#10 Of course you haven’t taken any drugs today (The Narcan didn’t wake you up. Nappie time just happened to be over).