I finally think that I have a new job, it's not what I wanted to do but it's just my theory. I'm now should consider myself as a professional patient. When I was 18 out of High School I fought Hodgkin's Disease and got to work on the FD which was a great personal accomplishment. However I couldn't finish my career because I was stricken with Kidney Failure. With this Kidney failure I also developed painful cysts on the kidneys and was hospitalized for it.. The hospital o/d me with pain pills and fucked my memory up and now I cant do any WORK of any kind my DR is now telling me. Mainly because I'm in constant pain and he doesn't want me to get stressed and do more harm with my illness. So now I realize that I'm a professional patient which I don't get paid for I have to pay lol. I'm on SSDI and only get a small monthly check cause I was not on the job long enough to be vested and the fact that kidney failure is covered by the Federal Govt. under SSDI. So I stay at home with my 4y/o son and volunteer for 1st Responder Wireless News as a dispatcher to keep me sane. I'm barely making it by, my check covers my rent and thats about it. I'm on a housing list for the State and Local Housing Authority's but there too long and doubt I will get on any of them b4 I die. I just am so tired of being sick and sometimes want to end it all but I look at my 2 youngest and think about my oldest daughters and THEY give me the reason to hang in there. Well I'm keeping a stiff upper lip. you ever want to chat I'm on line alot on AIM or My space. send a shout out.. AIM TAC9C48 Myspace http://www.myspace.com/1rwnma48 Send me some LOVE Be safe to all Stevie