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Dodging Johnny Law
I'm a law abiding citizen, in general, with one exception.....I love fast cars and I love to drive fast.
Double clutch used to be my middle name when I had the pedals to merit the name (my '72 Barracuda).
Up until recently I wasn't driving anything speed-worthy, and frankly, I'm stil not driving my dream car....but it's far zippier than what I was cruising around in lately.....
So...
Tonight I'm on the Northway southbound; it's late, I haven't had anything to drink so I'm feeling a little frisky behind the wheel, and then "Mr. Policeman" by Brad Paisley cues up on my CD player.....and I have sudden compulsion to see what a Korean car can do on a straightaway.
I laid out on the gas and downshifted on the fly into 2nd just to see what the engine could handle......and then there they were.....
Those pretty blue and white lights......Yup....it's Mr. State Trooper at Exit 12.
I had the smarts to kill the music and make a flail at looking respectable. I have about a foot of hair that was blown wild from the sunroof, so this was a scramble on my part.
Johnny Law walks up to my driver's window, but I noticed with some sense of relief that he noticed the State Police PBA sticker prominently placed on my drivers side rear window.
I handed over my license and reg.....crossed my toes and waited to see what he had to say. He followed protocol and introduced himself and stated..... "Ma'am....do you know why I pulled you over?"
Assuming this was rhetorical, but unwilling to incriminate myself....I took the coward's way out......" Do I have a headlight out?"
"No ma'am, I had you clocked at 87 mph in a 65 mph speed zone".
I then feigned astonishment........"87 mph???? I NEVER drive that fast.....really? " "It's a new car, I haven't quite gotten used to cruising speed on it yet".
At that point time slowed to a crawl. I'm convinced that he took another look at my State Police PBA sticker....took a long look at my Fire Department tag.....didn't smell any liquor on me, and took pity.
"Can you do me a favor and slow down?"
I babbled back in all sincerity...."Oh absolutely officer, I'm so sorry, I'll be very careful" and may have offered him my savings account and any proceeds from any of the Shea Family progeny for the next 20 years......
And he walked away.....
I pullled oh so carefully back onto the highway....waited four exits and then kicked it up again...
One side note.....I WAS wearing my seatbelt.....
Double clutch used to be my middle name when I had the pedals to merit the name (my '72 Barracuda).
Up until recently I wasn't driving anything speed-worthy, and frankly, I'm stil not driving my dream car....but it's far zippier than what I was cruising around in lately.....
So...
Tonight I'm on the Northway southbound; it's late, I haven't had anything to drink so I'm feeling a little frisky behind the wheel, and then "Mr. Policeman" by Brad Paisley cues up on my CD player.....and I have sudden compulsion to see what a Korean car can do on a straightaway.
I laid out on the gas and downshifted on the fly into 2nd just to see what the engine could handle......and then there they were.....
Those pretty blue and white lights......Yup....it's Mr. State Trooper at Exit 12.
I had the smarts to kill the music and make a flail at looking respectable. I have about a foot of hair that was blown wild from the sunroof, so this was a scramble on my part.
Johnny Law walks up to my driver's window, but I noticed with some sense of relief that he noticed the State Police PBA sticker prominently placed on my drivers side rear window.
I handed over my license and reg.....crossed my toes and waited to see what he had to say. He followed protocol and introduced himself and stated..... "Ma'am....do you know why I pulled you over?"
Assuming this was rhetorical, but unwilling to incriminate myself....I took the coward's way out......" Do I have a headlight out?"
"No ma'am, I had you clocked at 87 mph in a 65 mph speed zone".
I then feigned astonishment........"87 mph???? I NEVER drive that fast.....really? " "It's a new car, I haven't quite gotten used to cruising speed on it yet".
At that point time slowed to a crawl. I'm convinced that he took another look at my State Police PBA sticker....took a long look at my Fire Department tag.....didn't smell any liquor on me, and took pity.
"Can you do me a favor and slow down?"
I babbled back in all sincerity...."Oh absolutely officer, I'm so sorry, I'll be very careful" and may have offered him my savings account and any proceeds from any of the Shea Family progeny for the next 20 years......
And he walked away.....
I pullled oh so carefully back onto the highway....waited four exits and then kicked it up again...
One side note.....I WAS wearing my seatbelt.....
Add a Comment
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Comment by Art "ChiefReason" Goodrich on August 6, 2008 at 10:30pm
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Now, you're messing with Mel's self-esteem.
I don't have any.
PFFFFFT!
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Did you know that if you put more air in your tires and slow down to 55, you'll save gas!
But then, you won't get to meet new "friends".
You could always go to the speedway, there, Danica!
Trust me; it won't help to unbutton the top three. I've tried it; it doesn't work.
TCSS.
Art
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Comment by Jim on August 5, 2008 at 8:45pm
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That depends Mary Ellen, what was the posted speed limit. If it was seventy in NC you loose your license, even for the first offence. Sorry to be a sad sac.
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Comment by Mary Ellen Shea on August 5, 2008 at 6:44pm
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although in my defense, 87 mph is pretty tame compared to some speeders I've seen.
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I'll shamefacedly admit that Bob is actually right, and I should be setting an example.
I'm a leadfoot at heart though, so it's gonna take some time for this leopard to change its spots.
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Comment by Engine 32 Capt. on August 5, 2008 at 8:12am
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Geez Bob....Lighten up. Maybe she was trying to keep up and happened to be the one that got caught. I doubt she's the only one who exceeds the speed limit up there...
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Comment by Bob Allard on August 4, 2008 at 7:00pm
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I hate to say this but YOU need a good swift kick in you behind, he let you off once and you never lost control of your car, what if you were to loose control, and I am serious, who could help those Kids that you train so long and hard for, if I see you at the state convention I may give you that kick.
Sorry if this is wrong but remember others on the road
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Nice........nice to see my friends are so supportive in a time of legal crisis.....
thbbbbbppppppttttttttt....
Just WAIT until I get photoshop figured out....there'll be no stopping me.
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Comment by Joe Stoltz on August 2, 2008 at 9:25pm
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From an anonymous forum...
Kimberly Bownas: Oh, ok, so I really think you should post that comment you were talking about, it would be absolutely perfect...
Joe Stoltz: Which one?
Kimberly Bownas: Joe Stoltz: I was going to write some dialog relating to her getting out of the car, stumbling and landing with her arms around the trooper...
Joe Stoltz: ... or the trooper asking her why there's a pillow tied to her butt...
Kimberly Bownas: that one..
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Comment by ERCVFD 842 C. Warren on August 2, 2008 at 8:56pm
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lets see how's that song go, oh yea "I CAN'T DRIVE 55"!!!! LOL great story and stay safe out there
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