I would like to tell a story and I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who post and a big thanks to Russ Allen. It is a great feeling knowing you are apart of something that you do not have to fear. My firehouse had a young girl pass in a car accident. The rescue and fire people did what we could but it was her time.

I just want to take the time to share what happened after the call and many months later. I myself am a God fearing woman and believe that if I save a life or a memory that it was God's will and not mine. Yes, please do not get me wrong. God gives us knowledge to help on earth but it is in his hands alone about the outcome.

One of our junior members was a good friend of hers and it hit her very hard. A lady that got to the accident recognized the girl and called her parents. The parents arrived just minutes after our Engine got on scene. I was the ALS on the Engine and went straight to the girl after verification that the car was stable. I always throw up a shield to the outside world when I arrive on any scene to do my job and not think with feelings because I am a mother and very empathetic. Well to continue, after I looked up at our Assistant Chief and just shook my head the father of the young girl started shouting "my baby, my baby, please, please help my baby". He begged me to do something and I guess my shield dropped a little because I felt his pain so raw. I thought about my 4 year old daughter and had to pull myself together. After the parents were shown to a police cruiser and was being consoled by others, our Fire Department finished our job and went back to the Firehouse.

We were asked if anyone wanted to talk to a counselor about the event and we all said no. Each time we met we would discuss the scene. I started having dreams and would wake up crying because my mind kept replaying that scene and the face of the girl, I could hear the father again as if he was standing beside me. I prayed about it and asked God to give me strength and comfort. My husband suggested that I talk to my pastor. I did, my pastor is just awesome. We talked about it and I understood then that it was ok to be human even if I knew in my heart that it was her time and there was nothing more that I could do.

To sum this up, the junior came to me and asked to talk about the scene that she had to know to have peace about it. I did what I could and she looked at me and asked how I dealt with the pain. I told her about my shield and talked to her about my faith which I never did before. She gave me a hug and said, I have heard about your God but, I have never thought about it like that. I continued to talk to her about God and what I went through and told her that even though you have faith you are also human and you struggle. She has not started going to a Church but she did buy a Bible and she is reading it and continues to ask questions. So, what I would like to say is even though we hurt and feel and go through horrible sights and sounds it is ment to happen to strengthen us and to help bring others to the Word.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to talk openly about bad situations. HIPPA is here for a reason but you can talk about bad things that happen on a scene and not be in violation. Bless you all!