WP:
Like you, I don't like a thoughtful reply to fall victim to "must be approved".
So, if I don't know the person and I have noticed that it is the fragile, young female types who must pre-approve, I will put a symbol in the reply box, hit send and if THAT MESSAGE comes up, well, I'm done with them at that point.
I did just that yesterday, but only after I made the mistake of not doing that first. And for some reason my . hasn't been approved yet. (My original comment was approved, but I deleted it as a protest).
The blog is - What should happen next? I suppose it's possible the poster is/was unaware that the "Must be approved" feature was even in use, but I may be giving him a benefit of doubt he doesn't deserve. At any rate, this is a fire service and army veteran. Not that it's relevant one way or the other, but he seems to be the opposite of the "fragile, young female types" you referenced. (And I was afraid I was the last of the chauvinist, sexist, misogynist types).