Working with loved ones at scenes

I recently did a ride along with an ambulance company that my husband works with. I had to do the ride along because of a requirement I had to fill with the medical class that I am in right now. I have only worked with my husband on one other call which turned out to be a fatality. Coming from a previous department up north that I had worked on with my father bieng Fire Chief I have been used to the fact that working with family on various scenes is second nature to me. In fact I have several uncles and cousins from up north that I would see on a regular basis turn out to work side by side with me on some pretty grueling scenes. My husband has a lot less experience than me when dealing with medical calls and mass casualty incidents and I have seen him handle things a bit differently than me. He has been an EMT-Basic for just under a year now when I have been in EMS for 12+ years as an Intermediate, a firefighter for 17 years and also worked in an OR for 7 years as a surgical assistant. I have also realized that I obviously handle things a lot different than he does. I am the "just take it easy so we can get to the call in one piece" versus his "my ambulance has a ton of red lights and sirens and people better move out of my way because there is someone that needs help" attitude.

I know that I was the same way when I started out. I was very eager to get to the call and didn't care how I got there, I just had to get there because someone needed me. However obviously as I grew up and now currently hold an officer position on the fire department my views of things have changed. I now have people that I have to watch over as well as myself. I am in charge of other people's safety as well as my own now even more so. I am finding out that after working a plane crash with my husband he viewed me as bieng extremely excited and jumpy on the call. He thought that I was very nervous and lacked focus. I saw myself as taking the officer's approach to the call and thinking in terms of my scene size-up, number of patients that I had to deal with, is my crew ok, focusing on my patient and the treatment and then finally getting the patients out of the scene and getting them to the hospital. It is what I have done on every single plane crash that I have ever worked in the past. I noticed that as soon as the call was recieved my husband was driving a bit more eratically than I had previously noticed, he had tunnel vision, he was not where he needed to be as far as dealing with the patients (I didn't see him until our patient was almost totally packaged), and he had even told me to calm down because when we were taking the stretcher out of the back once on scene I accidently let it drop because I was not used to the electronic mechenism. The only time I have ever really lost focus on a call was whenever someone has been trapped in a structure fire or fallen through the roof or floor. I think at that point at least all of us would do that due to the fact that it is one of our own or a situation that we feel helpless in.

My question is has anybody else encountered this specific type of work related stress when working with loved ones on scene? If you have what are the ways that you have dealt with these issues so I can see if it will help me with my issues? Thanks for taking time to read my post because I really would like to start correcting this problem.

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Permalink Reply by Matthew on March 24, 2011 at 2:32pm

My father, and two uncles are also members of the same department as me. We all have varying ranges of experiences, and training levels. Which I believe help us to better manage incidents.

My father is new to the structural game, but was a seasoned Wildland Firefighter with 20 years experience for the US Forest Service where he was a Type I Safety Officer, and Type II Ops Chief, among other things on extraordinarily large fires. He has the most experience on really LARGE scale incidents and can better managing people & resources, he can anticipate logistical needs and can really see the big picture at all times.

One of my uncles is a former US Army Ranger (3rd Ranger Battalion) where he served as a combat medic, he also has a considerable amount of structural training. He is great at EMS, especially trauma, even though he is only a EMT-B. His strengths lie in his ability to rapidly size up a scene, take charge, set things into motion, and perform under pressure.

We respect each others opinions, but also recognize when the others experiences are more suited to the task at hand.

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Permalink Reply by Tracey Lynn Morris on March 25, 2011 at 1:11am

In my situation to my surprise law enforcement stepped in and said shes the boss now do it or get out of the way. There was not time for anything elese and that was many years ago when I had just got my captins bars.

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Permalink Reply by James Burton (Jamie) on March 25, 2011 at 1:33am

My wife and I serve on the same Department also, She is a Captain and I am a Lieutenant, She has 13 years and I have 4 years. We have been on many calls together and a few years back went into a working house fire as an attack team, it was great. I trust my wifes judgement and skills as she trusts mine. We never bring any bad vibes from home to the Firehouse and we don't take any back home after a call.

We do talk a lot about calls, and critique if necessary, it makes us better firefighters. Talking is the key here.

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Permalink Reply by Doug on March 27, 2011 at 8:35pm

I WORKED WITH BOTH MY WIFE AND SON IN FIRE AND EMS CALLS, I HAVE NO PROBLEM. THEY BOTH SEEM TO KNOW WHAT THERE DOING. YOU TREAT THEM AS JUST ANOTHER RESPONDER, MY WIFE DOES MOST OF THE DRIVING DO TO THE FACT THAT IM A CHIEF OFFICER. I THINK THAT WE WORK WELL TO GETHER. WE NEVER HAD ANY CONFLICT THEY FOLLOW THE COMMAND JUST LIKE ANY ONE ELSE. IF ANY QUESTION OR CONCERNS ARISE WE DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THE PT. AND THEN DISCUSS THE MATTER AFTER THE CALL DURING CRITIQUE. MY WIFE IS AN ER NURSE AND DOES NOT PRACTICE OR TRY TO TAKE OVER THE SCENE 'IM NOT SURE IF THIS WILL HELP YOU OR NOT. I HOPE SO.

Working with loved ones at scenes

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