Here is my warm and fuzzy Christmas List (same as last year, and the year before, and the year before ...):
1) I wish everyone would use extreme caution when doing holiday-type things (or common sense would be appreciated ... even a wee, little, bit would be nice)! People - you do NOT have to lose your minds during this brief period of time!
2) I wish people would not forget they are cooking something! Only acceptable excuse is dementia patients; beyond that? Nope! Well, okay, if your kitchen is furnished with an excellent, state-of-the-art, foam sprinkler system; go ahead! Your food may have an odd flavor to it, but hey, that turkey will sure as hell be crispy!
3) I wish people would not light candles or sterno, then wander away! Oh, and please, oh please, do not use those lovely paper or plastic decorations around the bases! For the love of God, you idiots, they are FLAMMABLE!
4) I wish people would leave turkey frying up to the professionals ... and, if they are not chefs or firefighters; they are not professionals! 
5) I wish people understood that while fires are very nice in fireplaces, despite what songs and poems say, they do not need to be roaring! If you want roaring, take it outside to a field and build a bonfire (following all proper fire safety protocol).
6) If the weather outside is frightful ... for God's sake, STAY THE HELL HOME!
Safety Officer Scrooge
PS: For those of you who do not know my sense of humor - this is all in FUN! Please take it as such. I love the holidays as much as anyone else, but by this time of year, am losing my marbles and looking for the funny in it all! Merry Christmas to you all - stay safe!

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and I have no problem integrating you into my lifestyle... MEOW...

now if only you were patent leather you would mold so nicely into this $10,000 dress...

Mine is simple this year...I'd like to have a 30" Stanley FUBAR to try out, and a refill pack for my first responder bag!

Merry Crimbus, everybody!


That'll work!
On second thought maybe we should consider a safe word from some of the younger whipper-snappers who may not be ready for the big boy bike just yet ???

Two words:

ME (wait for it...) OW!
All i want for Christmas is , Family , My sanity and for the media and society to realize that life isnt materialistic i guess this could be to much to ask for huh
my kind of man...
Girl, these people believe in the motto, "baptism by fire" ... if they can't stand the heat; they are in the WRONG business!!
Well it is hard to disagree with that reasoning...
Lets see first I'll take one or all of the girls but I'd also like a nice "Wheelen" Lightbar for my and a siren wouldn't hurt either.LOL..But in all seriousness I too would like to see everyone have a safe and happy holiday.We had 2 fires last night back to back and it saddens me that those people lost their homes and most of their belongings only 3 days before Christmas.Luckily nobody was trapped but we did rescue a little dog who was tied up to one of the homes burning.
I thought so! LOL!!

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