Here is my warm and fuzzy Christmas List (same as last year, and the year before, and the year before ...):
1) I wish everyone would use extreme caution when doing holiday-type things (or common sense would be appreciated ... even a wee, little, bit would be nice)! People - you do NOT have to lose your minds during this brief period of time!
2) I wish people would not forget they are cooking something! Only acceptable excuse is dementia patients; beyond that? Nope! Well, okay, if your kitchen is furnished with an excellent, state-of-the-art, foam sprinkler system; go ahead! Your food may have an odd flavor to it, but hey, that turkey will sure as hell be crispy!
3) I wish people would not light candles or sterno, then wander away! Oh, and please, oh please, do not use those lovely paper or plastic decorations around the bases! For the love of God, you idiots, they are FLAMMABLE!
4) I wish people would leave turkey frying up to the professionals ... and, if they are not chefs or firefighters; they are not professionals! 
5) I wish people understood that while fires are very nice in fireplaces, despite what songs and poems say, they do not need to be roaring! If you want roaring, take it outside to a field and build a bonfire (following all proper fire safety protocol).
6) If the weather outside is frightful ... for God's sake, STAY THE HELL HOME!
Safety Officer Scrooge
PS: For those of you who do not know my sense of humor - this is all in FUN! Please take it as such. I love the holidays as much as anyone else, but by this time of year, am losing my marbles and looking for the funny in it all! Merry Christmas to you all - stay safe!

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The one on the left sort of scares me, but have added them all to the list.
Chief ... you started this!!!
I wish all of those things listed in the OP do not happen.

Look I do not want anything bad to happen to anyone but, I like going to fires, I like going to wrecks, I like doing this job. If none of those things happened I wouldnt have a job.

Alost of people look like it like its a bad thing when you say you like going to fires but oh well.
Was meant only for Christmas; not the rest of the year! It is just such a pain to have worked long and hard on a nice Christmas dinner and get right down to service ... ring, ring, ring - gotta roll! At least they usually save me a piece of pie! LOL!!
I know! :)

Dibbs on the one in the black bikini!
know the feeling
She's all yours ... just keep sharp objects away from her chest; don't think those implants can handle it! LOL!
As always, such a humanitarian ...
I am fairly certain that they all look like they are suffering from hyperthermia. I will have to do skin to skin contact to raise their core temperature. Please stand back folks this a medical emergency, I will handle this.
Hondo ... umm, hate to break it to you, but that would be Hypothermia; not Hyperthermia ... though with the way the men are reacting, they will most likely be suffering from Hyperthermia! LOL!! But, please, proceed with emergency efforts ...

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