In almost 40 years, I have been in several situations where I didn't think I would make it out. Two of them involved water rescues where you don't have a lot of control of your inviroment. Years ago before personnel accountibility was enforced, I was searching the third floor of an apartment building in heavy smoke conditions. This was the 2nd working fire that night so we were pretty tired. The fire was in the basement and most of the crews were down there. I ran low on air and was trying to find my way out. I was disorented and my SCBA ran out. I started to panic because I could not breath. I sat down and told myself that if I didn't calm down and find a window I would die. I found a small bathroom casement window. I opened it at started to yell for help but no one could hear me. I took my SCBA off and squeezed out the window. I'm a big gut and the window was small. I hung there for about 30 seconds and was about to drop the three floor when finally someone saw me and threw a ground ladder to help.
It appears that a significantly large percentage of the posters are saying they are afraid of losing someone they know as a result of their actions. Sorry to sound cold, but it all comes down to your training. If you have done all you can and still have a bad outcome, it was just plainly meant to be. You need to trust and believe in your training, and for pete's sake get rid of the tunnel vision. If you are in doubt of your training, then you should be training more, until you know, when the time comes, that you did all you can do. It's going to suck, hell yes, but sometimes there is not a damn thing that you or anyone can or could have done. Myself, I have responded to family and friends for mva's and medicals. I am fortunate that all but one had an ok outcome. And for that "one", I know I did all that I could to the best of my ability and am ok with that.
But really, come on, ..who isn't afraid of losing someone close at a call. If that's all you're afraid of, then, well...I don't know what to say
We train to rescue people and property and to save lives and livelyhood. We can't save 'em all, relative's or not.
I also like Kali's response. Although, "fuctionally illiterate stranger" might have been a little harsh, I agree with her point.
My fear is being locked in a room with "Bubba" and he thinks I have a pretty mouth.
back to the spiders Heather... every time I crawled into an attic, whether it be an attic fire, checking for extension or whatever, I always knew that there was at least one giant female spider protecting her young... We're talking big spiders too. I know they are there... waiting for me... spiders suck and they have giant teeth... oh yea, they have an attitude as well, not a good thing if you don't particularly care for spiders... :D