For the times when we need to slip out of the room into a secret hideaway for whatever reason.  If you know where the secret buttons are you'll even discover all kinds of FUN amenities.  Remember to leave a tip for the cleaning people.  :o)

 

Views: 9003

Replies to This Discussion

Just work through the pain.More enjoyable.
ROTFLMAO
Sometimes...


No pain... no gain..
TRUE MEDICAL REPORTS (which sound shockingly funny)

EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS


1. A man comes into the ER and yells. My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald , San Francisco
____________________________________________________________________________

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes , Seattle , WA
____________________________________________________________________________

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive mymyocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
____________________________________________________________________________

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with One of his medications. ‘Which one?'. .. . I asked. 'The patch... The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!'

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair , Norfolk , VA
____________________________________________________________________________

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?'

After a look of complete confusion she answered . . . ' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR
____________________________________________________________________________

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?' ‘It’s very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.’ . Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced A foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf , Detroit
____________________________________________________________________________

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read . . .

'Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by RN no name
____________________________________________________________________________

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB. I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams...

To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .

' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'

She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . ' No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .

' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener .'

Dr. wouldn't submit his name....
____________________________________________________________________________

ONE MORE

Baby's First Doctor Visit

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,' she replied.. 'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight.

You don't have any milk.' I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,

But I'm glad I came!!!


.
Rofl I fell off my chair reading these lol , the many many untold stories in the field
A little something for the lovely Dr Heather. To help with those stressful moments.....


hmmm nice

I hear Men are highly aroused by Lavendar & Vanilla actually... making your choice all the more fun...

and Cinnamon



and Fresh Clean Scents... like...


and for bathing spice... add cinnamon oil...


for breakfast...


or with any snack..
Can you start with the small of my back please...

Hmmmm, bubbles, cinnamon, lavender = a most FUN time! Gonna have to add more soundproofing to the walls and ceiling I think. Something tells me the moans & groans are going to get louder. ;o)
I have called the contractor - they are working on a noise reduction system - as we speak...


Since... you are correct...

things can only get more

Sure can! Breaking open the lavender & vanilla lotion as we speak.

RSS

Find Members Fast


Or Name, Dept, Keyword
Invite Your Friends
Not a Member? Join Now

© 2024   Created by Firefighter Nation WebChief.   Powered by

Badges  |  Contact Firefighter Nation  |  Terms of Service