I was out for drinks with friends last night and the topic came up of dating versus seeing someone.  I want to hear other peoples thoughts and ideas.

Here is what was discussed:

Dating - You can see multiple people, you have to be upfront, honest and open that these are your intentions to the people you go out with.  They should not be upset if they see you out with someone else, since the terms were discussed at the beginning.  In other words, you don't want to settle and you just want to have some fun.

Seeing Someone - you have made it past the dating stage and are making a commitment to one person. Both people need to be on the same page.  It may be short term or long term since this is where you are going to really get to know this person.  You're done hiding things and ready to see if this person is the one.

If you are seeing someone - this is where the discussion got interesting;

When do you pull your name out of a singles dating site? 

When do you clean out your face book friends list with people you were dating and ex's?
(It was referred to as the black book by some)

I would love to see all of your opinions/discussion



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Replies to This Discussion

Hey Jen:

Great questions!

My first quick response about this site... I don't much think of this site as a single's dating site... I think on this website it is more a group of people with a common interest or identity... such as I am also a member of the Irish FF group... this groups permits us more room to discuss issues and commonly relate from a non-married perspective...

So for this site... I would define single as not legally married...

However, this website also has the option to change your status to "In a Relationship" which would seem to be only respectful to your current committed partner, even though legally single. Such as if you live together, then you are "In a Relationship."

Now my thought about other types of DATING websites - Match.com, Chemistry.com, E-Harmony.com - you get the point - I would say yes, if you are in a exclusive committed relationship then you need to close your dating page or change your status to "not currently looking" or "in a relationship" - or whatever the options would be out there so you are not leading people on into thinking you are fair game, if you will.

If you are on a dating specific website, you are by your presence stating you are looking for partners to date. If you are on a Facebook / MySpace website, your presence may include looking for potential partners to date, but it may be secondary to your human need to socialize with others who share common interests.

P.S. If you are keeping numbers of exes, or potential partners... then you are not seriously committed to your partner... and you should tell your partner that...
Thanks Heather,

I completely agree with you about this site . I agree that there are other sites intended to find singles.
I really like how you stated a non-married perspective or single and that is exactly what I'm looking for. That was very informational and well written.

Appreciated and Thanks again.

Rite now I haven't found anyone to date all the guys I know are either want to be friends or they are with someone. So usually I pretty much go out with my friends or just stay home. I am hoping one of these days that I will find someone to date. But nothing really serious since I am still going through a divorce which will be final here soon. That is what is stopping me now plus being a mother of 2 kids I usually spend most of my time with them. But I do get adult time everyonce in awhile.


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