So what is the funniest thing you have ever said to dispatch or heard over the radio? 

 

"The roads are slicker than goose snot" (neighboring station, this still has a rolling)

 

"Standy by for clear code or you can pick one" (my station, I could not find our code book)

 

So what have you done to make dispatch laugh, shake their heads, and go "Really?"

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hehehe
My old departments name is "Richmondville" and a nearby city is named "Rensalaerville". One time at a fire in our mutual aid district the chief called for us to the scene, apparently the dispatch was listening to a call in the other city over the radio and came back "10-4 rensalaerville to the scene with manpower and engine......cancel that!!! RICHMONDVILLE to the scene!"
I bet if someone from rensalaerville was listening they dropped a nugget thinking of the response times!!!

Another incident, but over the PA system at work and not radio related. I work for a local supermarket, and one day on the PA the front desk ladies asked something that made me pee my pants. "Back door receiver please call 244, Back door receiver 244" LOL
Too funny
Got three of them.

Last night we got a smoke investigation call in the area. We had two units searching the area and the 1st unit goes "so and so to so and so have you found anything yet"? 2nd unit goes yeah 12 deer and 1 fox but no smoke Chief replies laughing 10-4.

A neighboring EMS agency got a call yesterday and after the call was dispatched the agency goes so and so aknowledges call long pause im going to go see if the crew wants to respond. Dispatcher goes "ummmmmm short pause ok".

Sometimes when our 1st chief is on the air instead of saying so and so to fire dispatch, like your suposed to, he goes so and so to geneseo, where dispatch is located. One time Our FD and Geneseos FD had a call at the same time and our 1st chief not knowing goes so and so to geneseo. Geneseos commanding officer goes go ahead Lima. And so our chief goes about telling his meesage and then geneseos command goes so do you want me to relay that to dispatch or do you want us to come down there.

Pretty funny stuff.
I think the best i have here'd was Police got called for a man he lost his car keys so police when over to take him home. Te police arrive to the car he talks to the old man and he's got the keys in his hand. radios in to dispatch "21-radio found the keys their in his hand" "Radio copies(Dispatch is still keyed and you hear everyone in the station cracking up.
these are just great ...
We have a dispatcher that has a lisp which makes for a few laughs on certain calls.....
I have heard a local vol station that had a rather large building fire put in the message ,,this is the biggest fire we have ever seen and unless you get more people here we are gonna lose it and then followed this up by building fire 1000 metres by 1000 metres was at the call and the building was more like 100m by 50 m but hey was funny as at the time ,,,,,
Now im not perfect either ,,,,
I have been heard to say from station officer underwear , sposed to be underwood and then having an absolute brain fart after being in gremany and talking german to the english speaking dispatcher (i live in newzealand )
Sounds like somethng I would do... LOL
hehehe.... I wish there was a picture of the dispatchers face when you started speaking German.
That is funny!
This was over 30 years ago when I started in a small volunteer department but I still remember it as clear as yesterday. We were dispatched to a barn fire probably 5 or 6 miles out of town. The first engine got up the first hill out of the village and reported " Unless the sun is now rising in the west,I would say we have a working barn fire. Start sending mutual aid from ......."

On the other hand, I recall being called out (this was before minitors and portable radios) for more than one glow in the sky call that ended up being the moon. Barn fires were pretty common back then.
When I was a dispatcher in the early 90's, there was a Sheriff's dispatcher across from me that got a call from a crazy woman that thought someone was spying on her. The caller asked if they could tap her phone line. Hearing what the caller said later made sense when we saw this dispatcher take the phone and tap it on the desk. The dispatcher said, "Your phone's been tapped." The caller said thank you and hung up.

Someone mentioned Breckenridge earlier. I believe this same Sheriff's dispatcher got a call on Breckenridge but wasn't quite able to understand the caller. She asked, "What street? Breaking Wind?"
We were recently called out to a glow on the horizon that turned out to be a light from a barn....

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