So what is the funniest thing you have ever said to dispatch or heard over the radio? 


"The roads are slicker than goose snot" (neighboring station, this still has a rolling)


"Standy by for clear code or you can pick one" (my station, I could not find our code book)


So what have you done to make dispatch laugh, shake their heads, and go "Really?"

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When I was working part-time, when several of the younger guys would catch a shift together we would bring an Xbox and a few games and just play multiplayer for a good part of the night. Anyway it was a Friday night and we had brought the Xbox and the new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (it was new then). We worked 24 hr shifts but we try to stay busy between the hours of 8AM to 5PM anything after or before that time was ours and we could watch TV or do what we want. So at 4PM one night we started playing a little early, the Chief had gone home, and hell it was a Friday. We lit up the Xbox and started playing and someone I don't remember who it was (there were 4 of us playing), somone accidentily keyed up the Mic on their radio. Sure enough Dispatch heard it and 5 minutes later we hear the tones and we stop to listen and they say "Dispatch to St. 9 Fire Personnel, whoever is playing Call of Duty check your radio." We checked it and fixed it but another minute after that we get a phone call from Chief who is yelling at the top of her lungs that it's only 4PM and you guys should be working. Needless to say she stayed til 5PM everytime we were on shift from then on.

Also another thing is that one of our dispatchers, I guess she can't say STREET so everytime she dispatches something it's SCREET. So whenever she dispatches something she hears it right back. "Dispatch to St. 1 Fire Personnel respond to 105 South East Screet for a possible Structure Fire." "Engine 1 to Dispatch, we are enroute to 105 South East Screet, do you have a cross screet?"
dispatch told a ambo that they need to step it up. the paramedic told dispatch " as far as i know there is no code 3 and a half. everyone at my station had to laugh at that one
This is a must listen to:

My favorite- Got toned out for an AFA in our first due. After 5 mins Comm Center has to check everyone's status if their not enroute or on scene. So Comm Center starts checking everyone's status, my station is first since it is our call. My chief comes over the air with "45 and married with 2 kids"
Hmmmm... Nitro powered ambo's might work....
We get the pleasure of birthday parties.... At least we know how the kids are doing.
killing me.... hehehe
ewww.... Were the gese flying over????
Best two I've heard- Arriving on a residential fire around midnight "Engine *** arriving.... We got a burner!"
The other we were dispatched on an unknown medical about 3am,only info is a man laying on the side of the interstate. We get there and its a homeless man sleeping in his sleeping bag off the shoulder, so my Capt initiates "Sleeping Bag Command"
We had a big fire and our tanker goes in rt. calls command and said "your squirt gun is almost here watcha want us to do". Then when our truck rolled the officer called county and was like "Uh county we have a prob. our truck rolled over were sittin on our side".
Next time might be slumber party command
Oh No! We had a medical call at 2am one night and one of the engines that had responded got stuck in the driveway. Had to get a tow truck to pull them out. Good thing was they had straightened up the tree that was leaning.
Neighboring department had a captain call a hit and run involving his personal vehicle. Keep in mind whenever this guy talks on the radio he YELLS into the radio, dispatch this is **** and I have been involved in a hit and run. Dispatch asks for description of vehicle. He gives a description of his wrecked truck. Dispatch answers back wanting to know the DESCRIPTION for the vehicle that FLED. He says he didn't see it (it's dark out). There is a little pause then he comes back with dispatch you can disregard the other vehicle I just found a "big ol deer" that I hit. The next night I made sure my guys were careful in driving and to watch out for the "big ol deer"

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