I recently missed a very imortant call because I was on vaction. A woman and her 3 year old daughter lost their lives in a drowning and i cant help but feel guilty because i wasnt there to do anything. I know it wasnt my fault for the loss of life, When the good Lord calls us home we must answer the call. But as Fire and rescue are we really afforded the luxury of vacation, Maybe if I would have been in my distric things would have turned out differntly, What do you think?

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I dont things would have turned out diffrently you said when it is our time it is our time. You should not feel guilty remember we need a break and that there is other membersin the department that shoudl pick up the the slck
everyone needs a break once in awhile to relieve stress. you could have been there and had the same result. so don't fell guilty like clark said there should be people to pick up the slack.
you should not feel guilty every one needs a break. I learned something from one of the vet on my dept. He said "You did not cause the emergency you are there to try to make better thats all." It helps to think about it like that when thing dont go your way. Dont be so hard on yourself
In the volunteer service there are times when each one of us is unavailable for calls because of family business, shopping, working, vacation, etc. The rest of the time we make ourselves available for calls. It is just the luck of the draw, or chance, or whatever that that type of call would come in when you weren't available. You may have made a difference, or maybe not, or you might have also drowned trying to save them.

Vacation is a break in the action to rest and relax, and everyone needs it for their own well being. We need to take care of ourselves so we can better take care of others in their time of need. After a couple of runs I think you will feel better about this. Take care!
Guilt is a nasty disease that all EMS and Fire personnel go through time and time again. Just recently my husband coded a two year old drowning victim who slipped out the back door of a house are right his mother's eyes and was found almost 2 hours later. That was a hard call for all those on it that day. And guilt got to everyone because initially the call came out as a stand by for search. They responded priority 3 thinking they were just going to be there in case. Before they could get on scene people were crying out CPR in progress over the frequencies. Its always hard to deal with a bad call, even if you aren't there, cause then you always ask yourself.....would it have made a difference! Alot of times you find the answer to be "No....I wouldn't have" and thats probably more upsetting then anything else!
It would have happind even if you were in the district not saying that you are a bad firefighter. That has happind to all of us at some point in your carrer. You wont want to stay in the distric all the time because then you are missing alot of things. The other members of your fire dept. can handal a call withyou they did before you joined. Dont let it get to you. The last time I went out town I missed 2 good calls, and I didnt let it get to me.
I really do not see any reasoning in blaming yourself. This incident however tragic it may be is part of the job,a call just like any other call.Sometimes they turn out good sometimes they dont.Everyone deserves a lil time off with the family.The best thing I know to tell you is stop beating yourself up get back on the truck and do what you do best,learn from the past and leave the past in the past or you will be carrying a load that is unbearable.You cant save them all,all we can do is our very best.
Wow! To be blunt; what would you have done different? Do you not trust your brothers & sisters enough to have handled the call without you? Do you have a need to be there ALL the time?

You have your life. It is unfortunate that the mother and daughter lost their lives, but you CANNOT blame yourself for not being there. Especially for the fact that you were on vacation. You need to have time to yourself or else you will burn out..

Yes, we are afforded the luxury of vacation. We need to get away from the things we see everynow and then. If not, it will fester inside. You will bring it home. You will continue to doubt yourself and your crew.

Trust yourself. Trust your brothers and sisters to get the job done even when you aren't there.
bam
I have to agree with you completely Brett!!! You need that time, and like you said FF420, when the Lord calls, you must answer...
We recently had a house fire and a child died in the fire. Several of the guys went through the "I should have..." mode and beat themselves. The fact is, We Are Not God... when it's your time nothing will stop it from happening. I have had to learn that the hard way, been there done that (beating myself up). Have to figure out how to let it go and go on to the next one. We also have to learn to have priorities. You must put your own mental health and well being first and go away and not feel bad about it or you will burn out hard and fast. The only thing I do, each time the call goes out, is pray on my way that I can make a difference. Sometimes that difference is only holding the family and letting them grieve or treating the dead with all the respect I can give them. The feeling of helplessness is the hardest thing to deal with and learn to handle. But sometimes we are helpless.God is calling the shots, not you.
Most drownings stay dead and no offense to you but I doubt you personally would have changed that. What would you have done that was not done? Most of the time we are called for drownings they are beyond our help. You should not beat yourself up for being on vacation. Vacations keep us from burning out and there is no reason to feel guilty. I was taught a nice phrase "You are responding to something that you did not cause" while going through the Arkansas Fire Academy that has served me well.
No need to dwell on the past my friend, they have passed on. I honestly don't think you personally could have changed the outcome single handedly. Drownings are a wierd thing. Don't beat yourself up, your day will come when you get to be there to help someone and make it a posative outcome

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