The Social Network & Community JUST for Firefighters
How do you tell someone they are done?
This is a hard subject for me because now that I have hit 40 I know it takes me longer to feel better after a job then it used to. I work very hard at staying okay for this job and I still train just as hard as I did 20 years ago, but I have a close friend I went to the academy with thats been a great firefighter and friend but his body is breaking down and I see him struggling more and more and I am scared for him and others his knees are shot and he is working twice as hard to do what he needs to do. Pride EGO and we all know how we are and its hard but I have been asked because we are close to talk with him, this is a conversation I don't want to have. Has anyone every had to do this? It will be 8 months till his next yearly and I don't think it should wait that long.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kevin King on
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Man oh Man, Thats gonna be a rough call to make,he knows the drill though Dan. Chances are he already knows it himself,but still it aint gonna be no easy thing.Has he got the time in to take retirement? Maybe test him into a white shirt? Take him fishin less likely to get violent in a boat(just kiddin).I wish there was some magic words but this is a rough line we're in.Hell bud my days are numbered to at 47 I don't move quite as fast as far as I used to. You maybe gettin all sweaty for nothin,hell he might tell you.
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Permalink Reply by Lawrence W on
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With 12 yeas of service and just turning 30, I received a similar talk recently. I have bad knees, getting worse as I get older. Tragedy of a misguided youth (sports injuries in High School). The result of that talk was a renewed dedication to a workout regiment specifically geared to the weaknesses pointed out by a friend.
My friend came to me at a time when I was having a particularly difficult time with one of my knees. He started with genuine concern, "You feeling OK?" or "How are the knees?". It showed that he cared. He did not present it as picking on me or dragging me out in front of a group as an example. You, as a friend, have a difficult task, but you may be best suited for it. You are the most likely person to know what buttons can or cannot be pressed with your friend. Be careful, not only about what you say, but also how you say it. Ask him what he is doing to combat the specific problem that has been noted by command. If he isn't handling it, ask why not and help him to work to that end. What have you done to tackle your own challenges? How does this relate to your friends situation?
Just some experience. I hope it helps. Good Luck. I hope all works out for the best.
L
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Permalink Reply by bearnpa1 on
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fro my self,it was slow,and known.. 17 yrs active,when u get burned (scorched) by steam. we all know what can happen and does.. asthma turns COPD, arthritis gets to put of joint replacement,and u are an risk...simple 4 letter word, if u cannot "hump the bump" u are through on the fire ground,does not mean u are finished as support..rehab still needs help, as emt so im not some one who does a litter lift any more,but knowledge is still useable...as support.. now when the eyes go.. then u lost the ability to travel then its basically over...and retire w dignity...no shame, stay close to friends, limit the horseplay,and of course, other corousing...im 56...aint dead yet...
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Permalink Reply by Joe Stoltz on
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I agree completely, it is the chief's responsibility to bring this up, if indeed the line officers are the ones concerned. And there are plenty of jobs to do - training, pump op, white hat, etc. Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by turk182 on
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Yeah i elieve someone passed the buck and want you to do their job so he does not get mad at them. but i think the guys are right there are a lot of jobs on a fire scene and maybe he could be moved to one of them make him an officer or a pump operator hell make him an accountability officer for your department. before they do away with him since you are doing their job why not talk to them and see if there is a job you can find for him to do that would free a younger guy up to take his place inside.
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Permalink Reply by Dan Hoey on
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I am going to speak with him the chief in his area askd me too because he feels coming from me he will listen more and except things better. I am going to discuss with him different jobs avalible but you know the ego part telling someone you no longer able to be an interior attack guy heres a clip board and some tags..Okay Brett Farve your the asst coach of the Pakers today...But thanks for the words guys I hope though if I am really done one day someone I trsut does look me in the eyes and tell me so. I may enjoy it after all..lol
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Permalink Reply by Rich on
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We just had one of our Honorary Chiefs pass away. Mind you to reach that title in my FD you must have 50 years active duty. Well he did....up till his health was trully failing he was riding a rig for Fire Police functions. It was in his heart through and through. Most of our members with 20 plus years are Chauffers but we still have a few that run first due and are in the snot. To me, as a guy with only 3 1/2 years, guys with your time and experience are who we need to learn from. A book can only teach you some much. If its in your heart, keep doin the great work....though some dont know it yet or say thanks us young breed need you on the fire ground.
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