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i need some advice
so there is this girl in my fire station, she's ems primary but occasionally will run a fire duty crew. she is sweet as icing to everyone but me. which i really don't care about. however what i do care about is this--- i was out for two months cause i had surgery on my ankle...well while i was gone we switched from msa to scott, i went up to the station last night to get qualified on it. my officer went over the pack with me and after about 10 minutes he had me put it on, turn my hood around, and crawl through a small obstacle course- well since it was my first time wearing it and i had gloves on, trying to take the pack off to get through the one obstacle posed as a challenge. and who do i hear laughing in the midst of everyone else encouraging me?- her (no names) but she was laughing at me and i dont know what to do about this. she is a complete b-tch because i pose "female competition" to her ( she likes to go to the fire house to flirt with the guys and i guess she thinks thats what i want) so i dont know what to do about her. her mom has gotten people kicked out for "talking" about her ( not that anyone was lying when they did call her names) but i need help, i do not know what to do about her short of punching her in the face!
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rescuefrog on
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So tell us what have you decided to do? Hopefully not punch her!
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Permalink Reply by Randy & Rita Snipes on
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Have met LOTS of people like you describe during my career! Remember the reason YOU got in it and stay focused. If she IS truly THAT type - she won't last, You know that! Otherwise, she'll change her tune. If the problem becomes too much, try talking to her to see what her agenda is. YOU KNOW THIS: Most of the time when people in our work are not encouraging, they are insecure with themselves.
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Permalink Reply by Sandy113 on
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i will probably take it to a lt. sit down with him and her and have it out. figure out what her deal is and what i could have possibly done to have her be this evil to me...
i will let you all know! -
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Permalink Reply by Sherri on
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There are THREE critical things you must do to prevail ...
The #1 thing you (or anyone in a hostile workplace enviroment) should do is to begin keeping an "honest and totally private" journal or log of the dates & times that you have felt uncomfortable due to this situation, and why. This could potentially save your job later, especially if things ever escalate to a different level of conflict (besides hurt feelings) and you need to have something documented for legal reasons. Write down the names of anyone who witnesses any verbal or other altercations between you. Your notes don't have to be the calibre of Shakespeare. But write things down. This is your collective testimony 'in the bank' (so-to-speak) without running to your superior everytime someone snickers at you and your feelings get hurt. Writing it down also serves the purpose of allowing you to "release and forget it as best you can" from your head. That in itself may have a healing power. (Keep the journal locked somewhere safe, where nobody can read it.)
Which brings me to the # 2 thing you must do to prevail. Stop soliciting and collecting the opinions of what people think (including ours, here and now) and move forward without being someone who is so affected by the opinions of others. An opinion is not a collapsed floor, not a backdraft, not smoke inhalation or third degree burns all over your body --- an opinion cannot take you out. When YOU stop caring so much about the opinions of others, it will include "hers"! (Problem solved.) And yes, you can still care about people without being critically injured by their opinons. Being wounded by, or lifted by, the opinions of others is basically a weakness. You apparently have the upper body strength to do the job. Get stonger inside. (Might sound silly, but read some books, pray about it, meditate, whatever works for you. Don't give away your power by chasing the opinions of the masses or succombing to the opinion of one.)
Last, but not least, here's # 3... Ignore her. People who said to "ignore her" were all correct. But you will not succeed at this **** until **** you get your own power back, at which point the things she does will seem small, foolish, and insignificant. They will be unworthy of your reaction and response. It won't be necessary to convince others to dislike her by betraying her seemingly self-absorbed "my space" comments. It won't matter what anyone else thinks of her. And you WILL NOT CARE what they think of her. You will only care what they think of you. You have control over that by doing your job well. (She'll probably seem so pathetic to you, at that point, that you'll have empathy for her, who knows?) By the way --- one of the bonuses of "ignoring her" is that people hate to be ignored. Whether she can convince you it doesn't matter that you ignore her, or not, I guarantee she won't like it ... so this is both therapeutic for you, and unkind to her.
(Sounds like a win-win in that aspect.)
Good luck ... you can do it.
This should be easier than running into a burning building, not harder.
~ Sherri -
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Permalink Reply by Matthew Hoser on
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Talk to your superior officer. A firehouse is a place of semi military rule. There are rules of conduct, both of comradely and discipline. If you can not ibid by this simple rules, you do not belong in a firehouse.
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i dont care about opinions- i came on here to ask for advice(help as to what others in my situation may have done) --and don't care about what people think of me and that i am very grateful for!-my feelings did not get hurt when she left at me- i got pissed that she laughed instead of helping like she should have
the journal thing sounds liek a great idea though---that advice ill definetely take! -
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Permalink Reply by Dan Morriss on
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Kick her ass, Seabass!
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Permalink Reply by Mendes on
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i would address it with your cheif because there is no room for people like that in the fire dept we are all a team and are jobs are based on trust and if there is no trusted then what do you have you wouldnt feel comforable going in with her and that puts everyone in harms way
misty mendes -
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