Ok...so I go to court next week for a custody hearing. I have been divorced for 7 years but for the first time we are actually going to court and both want full custody. I am very concerned about what the judge will think of my schedule and 24 hour shifts. Any suggestions? Anyone else succeed at their custody case? Any comments would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
I feel your pain, stress, and worry. I too went through this in 1995. It was most of the most unpleasant times in my life. At the time I was working 8 - 5 in administration. Unfortunately I had a poor lawyer. If you can prove that the children have someone to stay with that is competent, reliable, and will be willing to go to court with you to make the court aware that they are there to support you, and have the childrens best intrest at heart, and that in the time of a possible emergency may arise that you can get off work to meet the needs tha are required, I feel like you have a good shot at winning.I don't know how old your children are but if they talk to the judge in his chambers and tell him that would rather live with you, then that will help a great deal as well. You need to let you attorney know this as well. You don't want them to say this in open court, for that really would put them on the spot, and that isn't fair to them at all. My ex was telling about heavy excessive drinking, and her sister got on the stand and told them tha I had a drinking problem. I was about to ask my attorney who are they talking about. Hell I worked 24/48 for fire, p/t with county EMS 12 and 24 hour shifts, taught classed for the community colleges, Drove a tractor trailer at night until 2 or 3 in the morning and drove a concrete truck as well. Now how can someone, have a drinking problem and do all of that? I was working to support the family due to ex being a stay at home mom. I told the truth and that is something thing that I was proud of I was able to put my hand on the bible swear to the truth and keep my integrity. The main thing is keeping the kids with you will be a less chance of upsetting their environment. I wish you all the luck in the world. Keep me posted on how you come out with this. Oh by the way, my ex and her sister came to partied for both of my boys when they turned 16 I wanted to let the kids be able to have friends with both sides of the family. It was at my volunteer dept. And guss who were the ones that were drinking at the parties? Wel, it wasn't me.
Good Luck and May God Bless
They are usually understanding about our 24 hrs shifts if you have someone to be with the kids when you are at work. I worked thru that a long timwe ago so I know what you are getting ready to go thru.
Thanks everyone for the great information. I am feeling a bit more confident as I get ready to go to court next week. Luckily I have wonderful parents who the kids love and they are willing to come to my house and stay with the kids on those few nights I have to work. I was in the mortgage industry for 15 years so I love numbers....I crunched the numbers and the ex would be crazy not to change the schedule. It would actually give him more hours to spend with the kids (just counting when they are actually awake) and it would give the kids more time with their parents and less time with babysitters. But anyway....thanks again!!
Well as Ray Steven's said "It's me again Margaret." I haved readall of the commetns here and see the supportthat you are getting from the others here. If you have been to meetings at school with the teachers, had the children to church, outtings, (which I know he said you were disney mom) those things matter. I still feel that the judge talking to your oldest in his chambers will make a difference. I was shocked to see that a nit wit judge sperated the children of one of the other members here. My wonderful ex wanted to take my youngest and let me have the oldest, and I wouldn't go for that. I thought that the boys shoud be raised together as brothers for that is what they are. So instead of doing that I fought for primary custody. But she won out. To be honest it wasn't that she really wanted them, but she just didn't want me to have them. Figured people would talk bad about her not taking the kids. Oh well that is. Take everything that you can that is positive about your relationship with the children, school reports, time spent together, the oldest wanting to join the explorer program, and his interest in your career as well. I wish you luck and pray that you get a sensible judge, with some good background to him.
Dear Christy. I thing that a mother should have full custody of there child. If the father is a real man he know what is the best forhis kids. I been in the same boat that you are in. The Judge if he not a but hole then he will be ok the work shift that you gotand if you got someone to be at you home at night with your kid.danny
I am sorry I meant no insult with the living out of the suit case statement...Its just something my 18 year old said. Why your ex would not work with the 4 day off thing I can only guess at and my guess is he is being arrogant and selfish and wanting to punish you by taking away your kid privlidges... and that pisses me off that he would do that. My ex tried the same horse crap and the judge saw through it thank God.
I applaud your wanting to be involved with their school life I know I had to force that issue with my ex and even my 18 year old saye he is better for it so please force that issue.
All I can rallly say is my prayers are with you and I hope you have a good attorney. Please point out to the judge that this is the standard for firefighters in many other states and that having mom in the picture as much as possible is the right thing to do for the kids because you get the whole day with them when you are with them and not just the hours between school and bedtime. Plead your case...I can see by your posts that you are a good parent doing the right thing and I will keep you in my prayers.
I took no offense to your statement. I just wanted to clarify that this is their home...clothes and all. I have mixed emotions tonight. Report cards came out. Oldest childs grades were not good at all...which helps my case but does not help him. I guess if him doing bad for one marking period in order to do good in the future then it is worth it. I will keep you posted next week. I feel like I am not just fighting for me but for others who are in this situation. Just because we work 24'S doesn't make us not fit as parents!
Just a quick update....his attorney is sick so it has been postponed yet again!! Almost 2 years now and I am getting pretty frustrated. Thanks to everyone for your support. I will update again when I know something.