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Child Custody Issues
Ok...so I go to court next week for a custody hearing. I have been divorced for 7 years but for the first time we are actually going to court and both want full custody. I am very concerned about what the judge will think of my schedule and 24 hour shifts. Any suggestions? Anyone else succeed at their custody case? Any comments would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lee Finlayson on
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I won my case 8 years ago and my 24 hour shift worked to my advantage, simply becuase I'm able to provide more time to my children....good luck Oh yea and I'm a dad.....
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Permalink Reply by Dan Hoey on
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T he system is so anti male but if you really want it and really work hard fighting a man can get full custody I did and thank god everyday for it!!
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Permalink Reply by donna on
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i was scared too,i ex told me would take the kids away.long as you are good mom,no problem.i was lucky to have a such a great mom.good luck don't worry.
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Permalink Reply by Jose M Ocadiz on
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Shared Custody Issues
I am in the process of a custody dispute with my ex. She is trying to use my work schedule against me, 24 on and 48 off. We are in mediation and I am trying to come up with a schedule that the kids will see us both on a regular basis. The mediator doesn't want the kids to be switched back and forth on a regular basis. Can anyone help?
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Permalink Reply by Christy on
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We are getting ready to settle. I am having to quit my job in order to have any time with my kids. I will have my boys every other week and just work my butt off on the weeks they are with their dad. I didn't see the point in having them every other weekend when I work most weekends and their dad wouldn't agree to let me have them on my 4 days off. Seems like judges aren't really familiar with the schedules. Your best bet would be to try and mediate it out as best as possible. Good luck to you!!! I have been in court for the last 2 1/2 years trying to settle my case.
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I am sorry to hear that you have to quit your job. I have been thinking about transfering to Fire Prevention, I don't want to leave operations but I might have to if my ex continues to be the way she is so that I can have my kids on a regular schedule. We go one more time to mediation then its up to the courts if we cant come up with an agreement. I am still trying to come up with a schedule but I might be forced to do whatever I have to for my kids.Thanks for the advise.
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Permalink Reply by Firegal77 on
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This is so very hard(giving up what you love). While i didnt have to go to court over my son(I am a widow) i have had to do a lot of changing in order to be there for my son. I have had to let go of my desire to be a full time fire fighter, and have been struggling through nursing school (48 hours a week)and working jobs in the evening /weekend to get by. I will graduate in 2 years and then be able to work a better schedule that allows me to be more present with him. as much as it "sucks" to deal with an ex, at least there is someone else there that wants to help raise the kids. Life doesnt always seem fair but I can only hope in the end it will have been a better choice. I still think it would be great to have a single parent firefighter co-living situation...LOL Where we could help each other and still do what we love! Anyway...sounds good in theory! Good luck to all of you, and i hope it all works out!
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Permalink Reply by WILLIAM HUDSON on
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Hi. I would like to commend you on being a fellow 24 hr shifter and wanting to get full custody of children.I think first of all I think it would depend mostly on why you got divorced in the first place.Secondly be sure to point out that as a 24 hr shifter on your off days you have usually from the timr your children wake up until they go to bed to spend time with them,it is way easier to maintain a trust worthy babysitter,and you have more days to spend with them then you would working a 40 hr a week job.Plus you make as much or more money in two weeks then people of equal pay who work 40 hr a week jobs.So keep your head up and I think you will be fine.
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I understand about doing whatever necessary for the kids. I figure before we know it they will be grown up and all of this won't matter anymore and we can continue on with our careers at that time. My sister is about to have an empty nest. It amazes me how fast the last 18 years have gone!
I will stay in EMS. I will just work really hard on the weeks they are not with me and enjoy the weeks they are here. I am very excited about all the time I will spend with them now. My oldest will have a drivers license in 2 1/2 years so I figure I better spend as much time before then because I won't see him much after that. LOL
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I can't imagine doing any of this without there dad! I was laid off and had to go back to school while working full time so I understand how difficult and time consuming it is. Dealing with a difficult ex can sometimes go beyond just sucking...it really takes a toll on you mentally and emotionally when you have one that is very controlling. You can get a divorce but it is hard to break free from some of the control issues that go on when you have children.
As far as the co-living situation...that would be great. I have a great friend who works a different shift than I do so he helps me A LOT with the kids when I have them. I don't think I would have gotten thru the last year without his endless help. In fact, I have ACLS class today....he will be over later to babysit :)
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It all sounds good on paper but trying to get a judge to understand is very difficult. We have reached an every other week settlement. Hopefully papers will be signed this week and we will start this on Friday. I really didn't want full custody. I wanted equal custody. I believe barring physical, emotional abuse etc that EVERY parent deserves to raise their children. I am going to switch to part time so I can make my own schedule. There is enough of a paramedic shortage in this state that I should have no problem finding 80 hours of work every other week. It will average to 40 a week so he can't say I don't work enough :) I will have the best of both worlds...I will continue working a job that I love and on the other weeks I will be a stay at home mom spending all my time with my kids. Gotta love this industry!!
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Thanks! Settlement papers are supposed to be drawn up and signed this week! WOO HOO Funny thing is we just spent 2 1/2 years and thousands of dollars (tens of thousands for him lol) to go from 50/50 back to 50/50 Maybe next time he will think twice about his actions but I doubt it.
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