Ok...so I go to court next week for a custody hearing. I have been divorced for 7 years but for the first time we are actually going to court and both want full custody. I am very concerned about what the judge will think of my schedule and 24 hour shifts. Any suggestions? Anyone else succeed at their custody case? Any comments would be greatly appreciated!!!!!
Just turns out my girlfriend Ashlie is having a divorse/custody court hearing next week she is in school now to be a paramedic and then on to be a nurse and also works fulltime as an CNA at a nursing home.I could get her tp talk to you if you would like,she needs the suport as well.
Permalink Reply by Beth on November 15, 2007 at 6:47pm
I wish you luck. Remember the hurry up and wait game will go away soon. Before you know it it will be your turn in a court room. Keep the faith that you WILL get your children.
Christy,
I dont know that I can really add any experience to what has already been said. but I have joint custody of my daughter and we split time 50/50. I have Emily on my four days off and her mother has her on my four days working. we live in the same school district so that is not a concern. I am considering trying for full costody because of some changes in the living arrangements at her mothers. So I am very interested in the progress of your case. please keep letting us know how things are going for you. Be safe
I will definitely keep you updated. I was laughing earlier because my ex is going to subpeona his teachers. I spoke with his homeroom/social studies teacher earlier today...he said what does your ex think we are going to say except that he is a nice well mannered child and his mom chaperoned the field trip and comes to his basketball tryouts LOL I don't think his dad has even met any of the teachers considering he didn't even come to orientation with me. Should be interesting. I will let you know what happens and what info I gathered
Permalink Reply by nita on November 16, 2007 at 10:11pm
Where I come from everyone pretty much has joint custody unless one of the parents is proven unfit and I think that is really hard to prove. I'm just wondering why now after 7 years? I divorced in 1999 and had two young girls. My husband mouthed off a little about trying for full custody because of my 24 on 48 off schedule. My lawyer told me it didn't matter at all....as long as the girls were properly cared for while I was at work. Duh!! Anyway, we ended up kind of working it out at first so he had them while I was at work. They soon became teenagers and didn't want to spend as much time with him and I had remarried so when I was at work they were just at home. I believe, as foreign as our work schedule is to some, we have the best of both worlds. Yes, we are gone for long periods of time but we are also home for longer periods of time. So while we are working mothers...we are also stay at home moms and can be there for our children when other moms can't. So there ! It's all in how you slice the pie!!
It will work out Christy...even though it may seem scary right now, your children know you love them and being a happy fulfilled mom is better for them anyway.
as long as you have arrangements with a family member or close friend yo shouldnt have any problem with custody. these days its hard to take custody from a mother you have to prove them unfit wich is very hard to do. just make sure you have statments from someone that will watch the child while you are working and the judge shouldnt have a problem with it !!!!
It was actually about 2 years ago that I filed. My ex took the kids and we agreed it would only be a temp thing to prove to him that the schedule was not the cause of my oldest son's school problems. Ex got married and then went back on his word. I totally agree with you about the best of both worlds. That is my argument I plan on using in court. I will be available a lot to help at school and after school. 2 years ago my oldest said he wanted to go to school where I live and now he is almost eligble to join the dept as an Explorer. Ex is against that...my son told me today his dad said he should do something where he will make more money! I am so upset about that!!
My parents will be coming to my house to stay with the boys on those nights. They will be at court with me. My dad is retired from IBM with 30 years and my mom retired from the mortgage industry. They raised 4 obstinate girls so they are definately qualified LOL Oh and that comment the ex made about the money that FF make...I would love for him to say that in court...his dad is a retired sheriff's deputy!
No, it's not too late. Darn hearing was postponed again! I work 9 or 10 shifts a month. Basically in a 9 week period my parents would have to stay at my house 14 nights if I had them 5 days a week. Of those 3 would be Sunday nights when I would get them about 1 1/2 hours before bedtime anyway so really 11 days where they would be with their grandparents after school. But I would have so much time to devote to school work and volunteering at the school on the other days. I am hoping the judge looks at that. Did you win custody while working shift? My ex is not a bad person, has great income and is remarried but just lacks in time due to his social life and just isn't detail oriented like I am so it really affects my relationship with the kids.
I have a 4yo that i have been through this with i only have joint custody right now but soon hope to change that. The problem that we (other guys in this area) have around here is that the judge will not give us custody because of the 24hr shifts. They say that will have to find babysitters for that period of time, (unless you are married) and grandparents or aunts and uncles don't count even if you live in the same house. So we really don't have much choice unless it is an uncontested potition.
Again Christy
Sorry you are going through this battle and as said above most states I know of will work with your sked...especially considering what you do.