How can I prove my self and not let other females in the field get to me?

To start off my name is kayla. I have been in the Fire and EMS field for about a year not and i love it. I really want to make a career out of it. I have great support from people i love but i need some help on this one. I'm in my firefighter I class right now and I'm half way through. I'm in a class with another female to. She is nice and all but tends to have a reputation to be a flirt at the hall. Normally i one to let people probe me wrong on reputations but her's has turned out to be true, unfortunately. Whats getting me is i feel that her in the class is starting to effect my determination to prove my self. I'm not going to lie i'm a average size nothing amazing but i will work for this and give it my all. I know that i will not get away on looks and know that there will be things i can't do but i also know that there will be thing i can do that someone else can't. I know i can't single hardly raise a 28 extension ladder but put me in a tight space or high up and i'm fine. Just gets me every time cause i bust my but in class and she just skates by.

So how do i learn to deal with females in the field that may not have the same ambition as me to prove them self and gain respect the right way?

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Permalink Reply by Kayla on May 9, 2009 at 7:52pm

ya guess it just annoys me to see someone in the program for the hell of it and flirts for the 8 hours of training and never shows. Guess I'm just not that type of girl so I have no tolerance for it and see no point in it

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Permalink Reply by Mike Lintz on May 9, 2009 at 7:59pm

There will alway be people like that.. just as WestPhilly said just do your job... work your ass off thats what will get you a job not how you look or how nuch you flirt

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Permalink Reply by Kayla on May 9, 2009 at 8:03pm

ya thanks lol even if that basically what my boyfriend said but thanks hearing it from someone else help so thanks alot for the motivation. Your right its about the work, i can only change me not her, so thanks i'm really motivated to kick her butt in class now lol thanks

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Permalink Reply by Jeff Cole on May 9, 2009 at 8:08pm

Philly is right on, although maybe a condensed answer. I'll give you a little more. While there still are, and probabaly always will be some stigma associated with females in the fire service, it's really no different than any other field of employment or endeaver. Men and women work together everyday in all fields of employment.
Though again, sadly there is still some degree of ignorance in our business. Having worked with females as well as having them in the classes I have instructed, can tell you that your gender will only get in the way if you let it. Regarding the other female(s) you speak of, it is apparent that you are speaking of a young age group, hence the tendency towards her immaturity. It is probabaly played off of the immaturity, and young age of the male students as well.

If you want to seperate yourself, or, better yet, just be an individual, simply let your actions speak for you. Don't even concern yourself with her, whether she "skates by" or not. Those type of people will always be around, regardless of it being the fire service, or any other occupation. And so will flirting. She will get attention by some, and that's nothing more than nature. It isn't appropriate in the work place, but unless it comes down to actually holding you back from your progress or impairs you in any way in trying to achieve a goal...don't worry about it.

In the end, you will be seen, and judged for your abilities as a firefighter. Perception is important. Jut continue to be there and do your job, let here do what ever it is she is doing. After some time, your work will show through, and you'll be accepted as part of the company, but perhaps in a different way than she is. Respect isn't gained, it's earned. Actually your situation isn't much different from males who join this business for reasons of questionable gain, and not for the desire to do the job and all that comes with it.

Give 150% effort, be dedicated and committed, learn to better your weaknesses, and acentuate your strenght's, and you'll be fine. If your going to stick out in the crowd, do so becouse of your desire and willingness to go the extra mile, and not becouse you want to draw attention to yourself and be popular. I think you are on the right track.

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Permalink Reply by Sheri Caelwaerts on May 9, 2009 at 8:11pm

Kayla,
I've been the only female (active) on each of the three departments I've been on. On my first department, I went thru something alot like you are now. I made it thru my training, and she became "bored" with the comittment that comes with the job after class was over and reality set in. She quit shortly after. I went on to become Assistant Chief. Do your job, hold your head high and stick to your principals. You will be the one that goes on. You will be a great firefighter and gain the respest of you peers. They will recognize your strenghts. You sound like you have a good head on your sholders and a loving, supportive boyfriend. You'll do just fine!!
Hang in there girlfriend!!

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Permalink Reply by Sarah Turner on May 9, 2009 at 8:11pm

What other people do does not matter.
Do your job, and do it well. Keep going to classes. Weight lift and stay in top shape and live with high integrity. You will be respected if you do those things and treat everyone else with respect.

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Permalink Reply by Dennis Brown on May 9, 2009 at 8:11pm

You just keep on what your doing and pay no mind to her because when the time counts at a fire you can not skate by on looks or flirting good luck and be safe

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Permalink Reply by John Crabbe on May 9, 2009 at 8:14pm

I personally never seen a firefighter take care of a fire by themselves, we work as a team for a reason. I have seen guys be almost to fists in a firehouse, but were working together on the fireground.

Point is, just do your job, worry about yourself and not what others think of you. Bottom line is people respect that someone can do the job, it is about personal determination. Worry about doing the best YOU can do and don't worry about the other girl. The only person you need to prove anything to is yourself. Put the emotions aside and do the job.

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Permalink Reply by Kayla on May 9, 2009 at 8:16pm

Wow thanks you guys so much for taking the time to say this to me. I guess being new to this i have a lot to learn. Ya its funny cause as soon as i got the last message someone in my class just told me i was doing a good job and said that they could really see i was trying hard. So, thanks, just need to step back and look. And your right its going to come up in any job and its not how you complain but how you overcome it. Once again thanks for the response.

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Permalink Reply by Ron King (Fire Chief) on May 9, 2009 at 8:29pm

Kayla, Not everyone can do everything at a call. Some are better at this some are better at that. Thats why we are a team together we can get the job done! It takes everyone working together to have a good fire dept. You keep doing what you are good at and done worry about the things you cannot do. Thats were someone else can pickup the ball and run. Hang in there its always darker before the dawn!

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Permalink Reply by Jay Nicholson on May 9, 2009 at 9:13pm

There will always be the 'go-getters' and the just there in any occupation. A FF friend of mine just took and passed the engineer's test a couple of years ago after 25 years on the dept. Great guy, great FF just didn't have that ambition.