Two Democrat campaign volunteers are in a graveyard getting names off headstones.
1st guy sez, "Did you get the name off that real tall one in the back?"
2nd guy sez, "Naw, it was too old & faded."
1st guy sez, "Well, go back & look at it again."
2nd guy sez , "I told you it was too faded to read."
1st guy sez, " You go back & get that name, dammit"
2nd guy sez, " I can't read it. Besides, we musta got a hundred names, that oughta be enough."
1st guy sez, " Go get that name! He's got just as much right to vote as anybody else buried here!!"

3 doctors are playing golf (what a surprise) & discussing their most difficult cases.
1st doc sez, " I once had a violinist who had 7 fingers severed. I reattached them, very delicate surgery. He's now playing with the symphony."
2nd doc sez, " I can beat that! A few years back, I had a young lady, very promising athlete who had both legs amputated in an accident. Took me 14 hours of surgery to reattach them. Last year she finished 3rd in the Boston Marathon."
3rd doc laughs & sez, " Boy, you guys are in the minor leagues! I got called in for a woman who was horseback riding & got hit by a train. All I had to work with was a big patch of blonde hair & the horse's hindquarters. This year, she's running for President!"

Dear Abby;
My husband hasn't held a job in 7 years, hasn't even looked for 1! I'm the sole support of our family. He's lied, cheated on me & does nothing but hang out with his friends. He's never home, always out running around someplace.
I have goals & aspirations but he's always holding me back! I'm at my wits end. Please tell me what to do.
Signed, Clueless

Dear Clueless;
You are a U.S. Senator from New York & Presidential Candidate.
FOR GOD'S SAKE, GROW UP & ACT LIKE IT!!

Bush's favorite city in Texas?
Kilgore

Why did Tipper file for divorce from Al?
She didn't want a man who couldn't lick a bush!

We got Uday & Cusay. Now all we need to do is get Ebay!
(Hal Jay, WBAP radio in Ft. Worth)

A working man voting for a Democrat is like chickens voting for Col. Sanders!
(Thanks to my late dad for that 1!)

Just a little humor for the Silly Season. Don't get yer knickers in a wad, I may get sent to sensitivity training.
Political Correctness is not my strong suit. I'll be right up front: I'm a Reagan Republican. Before that I was a Carter Democrat...They can cure anything in 4 hellish years.
Jokes aside, it's an election year. We've got BIG decisions to make on a multitude of issues. Be you Democrat, Republican, Conservative, Liberal or any other political stripe, educate yourself. Don't blow it off, don't go with the crowd, don't get caught up in these personality cults. Look at all sides of the issues, then get off your ass and vote.
'Nuff said, huh?