Me, I do, actually.

Preface: I’ve started my training for running a half-marathon in June for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s “Team in Training” fundraising athletic program. . I’m running in memory of Tanner Zullo and Aidan O’Malley, and in honor of Brianna Blank (her dad, Dave Blank, is a member on here).

We had our first group run this morning (more commonly known among the runners as the “Group Grope” …same way as the runners refer to Team in Training as “Team and Mating”…there are an alarming number of hookups that take place during training; must be all those rampaging endorphins….).

We met at 7:00 a.m. at the Corning Preserve in Downtown Albany (ok, I’ll admit it, the runners also refer to this as the “Mugger’s Mambo”….the area is a little…unsavory…running by yourself is discouraged).

But I’m getting ahead of myself. My fire department is now offering automatic mutual aid to a neighboring department, which means that our volume of calls has dramatically increased. Normally we could go weeks in blissful, yet mind-numbing boredom, interspersed by the odd automatic alarm or CO call. Not any more.

I’ve answered at least one call every day for the past four days, and last night was no exception. We were toned out for a shed fire (still a structure fire virgin, but I figure my odds of being deflowered should increase with the AMA)…got home, took a shower, jammies on, in bed and actually asleep at a reasonable hour. I had to be up at 5:45 a.m. (yes, on a SATURDAY) to pick up my running partner and make the group run by 7:00.

The tones dropped again for an alarm at the high school, and as usual, it was a bogus call, but I got home late, and it took me a good long time to fall back asleep. It was worth going, however, because one of our “tough guys” showed up in his Homer Simpson neon-colored jammie pants…he’s NEVER gonna live that one down.

The alarm went off and I dragged myself out of my warm bed and started pulling on layers of running gear. The problem with running when it’s this cold is that you still work up a sweat, but if you don’t layer properly, your sweat freezes as it runs, and it’s a miserable, cold, and weirdly “crunchy” experience. You’re supposed to fuel up before you run, but I literally can’t eat when I first get up. I need to be awake for at least an hour before I can consider eating something. So I drank some milk, and chugged a short Diet Mt. Dew (ahhhh….caffeine…….) and walked outside to my car.

My nostrils instantly slammed shut in response to the air temp. It was a balmy 5 degrees with a light breeze. Mmmm….yeah baby.

I pick up my running partner and we chat and joke until we get to the running trail. There was literally a cloud of exhaled breath vapor hanging over the crowd of runners it was so damned cold.

We set off almost immediately and as soon as we head out onto “The Flats” ….the wind comes blasting over the Hudson River and the frigid air gusts almost knocked me off my feet. I looked at Maureen and said “Are you SURE you want to do six miles today?” …and she shrugged…which meant yeah, she wanted to do six. Sometimes I hate her.

It wasn’t so bad on the way out to the three mile marker, but on the way back... Oh sweet baby jeepers, the wind had picked up…nobody was chatting anymore…my lungs were aching from the cold, and my legs and butt had gone completely numb.

I finally spotted the parking lot/ six-mile marker, and would have wept in relief, except I was afraid my eyes would freeze open and I’d never blink again. As we starting walking toward the lot we bump into a running pal and start cracking up laughing…her eyebrows were completely white, as were her eyelashes, and she had a “goatee” of frozen ice crystals hanging off of her lower face. She says “what? What’s so funny??”. Maureen tells her, in between snorts, and she says “Oh yeah? Go look in a mirror Mrs. Freeze-Miser” .

We get to my car and I fell over laughing…if she had a “goatee”, I had a ZZ Top full-on “ beard” of ice on my face. I tend to run with my mouth open , which lends itself to ingested protein in the form of bugs in warmer months, and my exhalations had crystallized all over my lower face. I had STALACTITES on my face for God’s sake.

Good run though. And we stopped at the diner on the way home and motored down about a pot of hot coffee apiece, along with some slammin blueberry pancakes. Yum.

Pray for me for warmer temps for next weekend.