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We are all sitting around the table eating a meal and the pager goes off. What do we all do? We jump up from the table and leave. Not just our meal, but our families sitting there alone. So does the fire side of ourselves take over and forget about the family side of ourselves? Or is the family just supposed to accept that the pager takes priority? Is this right or just the way things are? Thoughts and comments are sure welcome.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Allen Wahlstrom on
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This one made me laugh...not in a bad way. One of those, OMG, I remember laughs.
I grew up in a Vollie family, Uncle was the Chief, or Asst. Chief for as long as I can remember, so EVERY call he was there, then at 16, so were his oldest son and I.
As family, it was just expected, Thanksgiving dinner...as soon as it hit the table, the fire phone rang, or the tones went off, it was a given. As kids I think we thought it was cool, another place at the adult table...LOL. Not so sure my aunt or mom were so thrilled, but we all accepted it as part of our family life.
My ex on the other hand wasnt very accepting. And for her it wasnt so much that I was leaving dinner, it was that we lost a friend and brother in a church fire the year before and his City Fire pension wouldnt pay, because he died at a fire working as a vollie. So hers was more what am I going to do with our kids...
All you guys who lovunteer...god love ya. Be safe and yourt families understand. Even if they give you a rash of crap over it.
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Permalink Reply by Steve Davis on
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When I am at home, and on call, I make it a point to tell my wife about being on call so when I do get called, it is not just me jumping up and running off. When I am not on call, the pager is off and I am concentrating on my wife and kids. When I first started, I had that "I need to be there all the time and right now" mentality. Over time that changed. Now, when I am at home, I am at home...mentally and physically. It took me a while to really get that sunk in my head, but learning how to turn it on and turn it off has helped me emensely. I found that I was burning out quite frequently when I was in the mentality of "gotta go! gotta get there". It actually made me start to resent the job. Not to mention the cold shoulders that I would get from my wife! Boy that wasn't fun!
I think that every member has to learn how to just turn it off when they are not there. We are always firefighters, day and night, 365. But that doesn't mean that we have to be in that mind frame day and night, 365. You have to remember who you are and not loose yourself in the job.
To truly answer your question, no, I don't think that they should just accept that the pager takes priority. Your family takes priority over any job that you will ever do. They are the reason that you get up and dedicate yourself to your job, to make their lives better. Not to ignore them and run off whenever your pager goes off. Your family needs your time and needs your presence, just as your job does. What we did in our department was assign days to be on call. When it is your turn, your on....When its not your turn, you are off. It is amazing how much this will improve your departments morale. Each member will not develope the attitude of "I'm always here, why doesn't anyone else come in?!" it is that resentment that destroys morale, along with other issues.
Remember, you were you before you became a firefighter. Don't forget who you are.
Stay safe!
Steve
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Permalink Reply by katcraw on
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The seperation between your family and your pager can be tough. My husband, his brother & I are all on the FD in town (vol). Our family (all sides) are very understanding, although there are times when I can tell my Mom is kinda down about us having a call that keeps us from visiting them, or a function that we can't miss. I do, however, whole-heartedly believe in what has already been said about family coming first. In the adrenaline rush, you can miss the looks of disappointment and hell- the plain ol' good times you will be away from. I have been told by senior members of the FD that putting family first is SO imperative. I listen to this because they also have high run percentages. I am (hopefully) going to be going through Academy in January for a career dept, and I am not looking forward to missing my husband & the rest of the family, but they have said they understand and support the decision. I know what I have said might seem wishy-washy, but in trying to meet all demands for time and attention, something will always be sacraficed that you can't always get back.
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Permalink Reply by Philipp Huss on
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My family has accepted if the alarm unit rings. Which I do not neglect my family. separate I help others. With me it already often came before which I simply away is. But one does it for a good purpose.
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Permalink Reply by Daniel-eugene matejeski on
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I am one of dannys friend. there had been a mistake much like the spelling in dannys rambling. We ask him if hes in or not because of a largescale lye about being in the airforce. he claims to be a fighterpilot which is bullshit!!! He stays at home and does nothing waiting for the VOLUNTEER pager to go off while taxmoney supprots him because he dont work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Frank Jones on
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That's the way it is @ my house too!
Sometimes I think I want out & then other times I am reminded of how rewarding it is to serve the people in such a way that means so much!
I am fortunate that my family understands my job & is so willing to make adjustments so that I can spend quality time with them @ home. I couldn't as for more!
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