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We are all sitting around the table eating a meal and the pager goes off. What do we all do? We jump up from the table and leave. Not just our meal, but our families sitting there alone. So does the fire side of ourselves take over and forget about the family side of ourselves? Or is the family just supposed to accept that the pager takes priority? Is this right or just the way things are? Thoughts and comments are sure welcome.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Todd on
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I've been involved with the FD longer than I've been with my wife, so it's always been present. As a former volunteer herself she knows the deal. The only time I can ever remember her saying anything she changed her tune when i said "Sure I could blow off this call.....but what if everybody else did the same thing? What if it were our house and you found out somebody blew off a call for nothing?"
Lately I have, as long as I know our staffing levels are going to be good, started to leave my pager either at the house or in my POV when one of my kids has a sporting event. I also try to pick out at a minimum one night a week where I'll listen out, but only respond if it's something significant. When you are with a busy department sometimes you have to balance things out with all the lost time to calls, training, meeting, etc.
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Permalink Reply by Kevin King on
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You said it yourself in the first paragraph Quote(Sure i could blow off this call....but what if everybody did the same thing) Then you turn around and try to justify it as balancing.This seems to be kinda FUBAR to me blowing off an obligation you accepted in any form is still blowing off an obligation.Nobody made you sign up,except that thing in your heart that drives you to do everything you can to protect life and property.Saving life or home is a one time thing,Its gone forever.If your gonna do the job do it, if its to much on your plate maybe its time to do a self check on who you are and what does this mean to me.Ask yourself this as a firefighter can I face my people after a tragic incident if I choose not to answer the call. If at work and the call is missed thats one thing but choosing to miss a call thats just plain wrong.Hope you never have to live with the choice.
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Permalink Reply by Joe Stoltz on
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I should expand on my earlier post. When there is a family function or other event I am planning on attending I notify the Chief or EMS Captain that I won't be around at that particular time which is usually a couple of hours. On the fire side there is no problem getting help but with 2 out of the 4 EMTs leaving town they really need to know. The other Chief officers and medics also do this so we cover for each other. It works out pretty well and helps minimize guilt if something goes on when one of us out of town.
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If you notice I mentioned "as long as I know our staffing levels are going to be good" It involves good communication within the department. I'm willing to bet that I failed to mention that the vast majority of our members, career and volunteer, have Nextel so the biggest portion of our roster is available for immediate contact with just the push of a button.
As for "Saving life or home is a one time thing,Its gone forever.If your gonna do the job do it, if its to much on your plate maybe its time to do a self check on who you are and what does this mean to me."
Considering the fact that for the past 5 years I have finished in the top 5% of call response in my county (400+ volunteers) I'll stand on the fact that I carry my fair share of the weight around here. When my call response becomes a problem I feel certain that my Captain will come to me and address the situation. Until that happens I'll continue what I'm doing. If you don't like that..oh well, sucks to be you. I didn't join the fire department way back when for it to become an all consuming passion of mine. I joined to make a contribution to my community, and for almost 18 years I have done just that. I simply refuse to let anything get above my family in the list of priorities in my life. Just like you example above....kids growing up is a one time thing.
What YOU need to remember is that you made a commitment to your family too, so be careful you don't end up like several guys I've seen in my time where all they had was the fire department because they drove everything else away. Saddest thing is I outrespond even those guys around here.
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Permalink Reply by Firegal77 on
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I am a widiwed mother of one, and have been involved with emergency services for my son's entire life. It is definately not easy...When the page goes off, I have to work twice as hard as anyone else to respond, because I have to locate someone to watch my son...Often times he will go with to the fire, and stays under the supervision of the logistics officer until an adult arrives..or fortunately I know a lot of people around, and they just bring a spouse along who is there to help out...As you all know we all have our part to play, and so the support is there, but it is not always easy...I remember looking into the eyes of my son one night when the pager went off... we were having a special evening together to show him how proud I was of his progress in school..By instinct I grabbed for my gear, and then I stopped. He looked at me and asked if I was gonna go? I put my gear down, and told him I would stay this time...Then he looked up at me with worried eyes and said " but mom what if someone needs you?" That was all it took. I grabbed my gear, grabbed my son and responded POV to the incident and lined up a babysitter on the way! My son is the only family I have at home right now, and his support means the world to me...When I hear him telling other people that one day he is going to grow up and help others and to hear his pride when he says his mom is a firefighter..there is no other feeling like it, and I know that I'm doing the right thing...
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Permalink Reply by KClark903 on
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I get up and leave if we are dinner or any meal I am lucky that my wife understands it considering she grew up in a fireifhgter home so she was use to her dad getting up and going. My family understands it to if we are there having dinner or visiting them my wife stays there till i get back or she will have my father take her to the firehouse where she will wait for me . The only times I dont leave are special occasions in the family.
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Permalink Reply by Beth on
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I'm an EMT and hubby is also FF/EMT. We both come from FF/EMT households. Everyone in both our families understand. They worry about us and wish us the best. Leaving the table during a meal-All the time. Some days we have to take turns on responding to calls. Yes, we sometimes get jealous of the other person that gets to run the call. Other days we both go. We have had times when we are at the fire dept. with our children and the tones drop. Some times the kids stay with one of us and other times they get left with someone there. They understand that we may not be able to do all the fun stuff, but they will be safe until we return. Everyone understands and they try to work with us. We have left so many Thanksgiving, Christmas and other special holiday meals that we have lost track. No call is small in someone's eyes. They could be having a celabration when they need US. If we don't arrive they will forever be remembering that day as the one that the ambulance didn't arrive when they needed it and then they will be unwilling to call for help again.
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My hat is off to you,its a stark awakening when a child says something along those lines.Your child is obviously very proud of you and what you do,frankly so am I.
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The reply was not pointed directly at you it was a general reply.If arraingments are made good deal.I've been in the service most of 30 yrs and raised 5 kids doing it 3 of which are also FF's and Medics.
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Permalink Reply by Brian R Long on
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I am a wife of a assistant chief and also a firefighter. I use to hate it when my husband left. After so long I got use to it. I joined the fire department a little less than a year ago. I know understand why he use to leave. Now I am generally out the door before he his. The only thing that bother me is if we are in a store or at the school with the kids and he leaves. Other than that it doesn't bother me.
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Permalink Reply by felix on
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You are only vol to submit an application and join, once your accepted you have a obligation as a member of a profetional or vol orginization to the community and protect life. My wife occationally asks do you have to go? I sometimes blow her off and go or stay home. She has grown up in this enviroment, her father did it and her brother dose it. I wasnt a firefighter when we got married and she knew me before I got involved in this great service. She dose understand that when that pager goes off no matter what its for that some one some where needs help. We have worked it out and she is very supportive, to the point if i am sleeping away from the pager she finds me and wakes me. My son is 3 and my daughter is a month old and they will be brought up in the fire service family and be acoustom to this. I quess what I am trying to say is that maybe try to involve your family in what you are doing, this may bring understanding to why you aren't home.
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Hey Steve! I feel your pain! lol As you probably read my post prior to yours you know I'm there too. It can be very difficult, and especially if you feel like you're missing out on your childs life. My son has been to more trainings than almost all of the other volunteers...course, I was the training officer. He too used to respond in the trucks with me until the policy changed. It is hard for people to understand what it's like to have 2 major commitments 24-7. It can be exhausting. One of the ways that I have learned to deal with it in a positive way, is to take a vacation. I personally have to go far enough away that I can't be reached if there is an emergency (sounds a bit like an addiction doesn't it! ;) Last March I took my son to Hawaii, we had so much fun, and we got to spend a lot of quality time together. To me it makes a huge difference when I forcemyself to make a vacation plan and then stick to it.(yes it is hard to leave when you know you may be needed-especially in a volunteer department where you have become an anchor for others) I am in school now, and it is really hard to be away from the calls, but I am hoping that by working towards a better paying career, I can still support my volunteer habits! lol I guess the bottom line is we all need to make sure we're telling and showing our families every chance we get how much we love them. I think most of them, including the very young kids understand the sacrifice to an extent. I do honestly believe though that there is a time when those of us that are single parents have to also recognize the absolute importance of balancing the time we spend on the emergencies with the raising and nurturing of our kids.
Hey, maybe we should get houses next door to each other, then we can take turns! LOL Take care my friend, and if you ever wanna talk, just mail me, I would be happy to. Maybe we could be good support for each other. ~Windy - Attachments:
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